I'm Broken:
by blackromanceangel274
Summary: Dean and Sam Winchester meet Gabriel and Castiel Novak through pre-school, as school years go on the children only become more close. Dean and Castiel soon become a couple but Gabriel and Sam still don't like each much. But the Novak's have a secret and Sam has a tough life. Destiel and sometimes Sabriel.
1. Chapter 1

**I'm Broken:**

(I also have another school AU, it's called Silent Angel, so if you like this one, please check out silent angel. It's still not finished yet and it is 'in my opinion' one the best fic's I've ever written so, if you get a chance. Thanks and enjoy.)

How Dean met Castiel:

"Gabriel!" Dean shouted with a smile as his best friend walked thought the class room door.

"Hey Dean" Gabriel returned the smile and sat next to him. "Doesn't your little brother start today?"

"Yeah he does, his name's Sam. Your's?" Dean remembered Gabriel mentioning about his younger brother, couldn't remember his name though. He knew it began with a C.

"Castiel. His really nervous about it to"

"So were you when you first came here" Dean reminded him.

"Yeah, but his more nervous than I was and shy, so I warn you. He properly won't say very much" Gabriel explained.

"Oh" Dean exclaimed. He wasn't sure if he should be glad that this Castiel guy wouldn't say very much or if he should be upset.

"I'm sure you'll get along fine though" Gabriel assured him.

"How's things your end? Your dad back yet?" Dean asked trying to change the subject.

"No. Surpose to be soon though" Gabriel remembered.

"You must miss him. At least you have Micheal and Lucifer" Dean shrugged.

"Lucifer? His a bully!"

The first years pre-school class was quite, the young kids being to scared of each other to say anything.

"I want you to introduce yourself to the person sitting next to you" the teacher said smiling warmly at her class.

"Hi, I'm Sam. Sam Winchester" a brown haired apatite eyed boy said to the boy sitting next to him.

"Castiel" was the reply. "Castiel Novak" the black haired, sapphire eyed boy's shaking voice caught Sam's attention and spared the boy a glance, _'his more nervous than I am.'_

It was break time, Gabriel and Dean waited outside their side their little brothers class room for them to be let out. Finally they came out of class, both brothers were talking to each other and smiling and laughing. Gabriel was impressed.

"Cassie" Gabriel called so his younger brother knew he was there.

"Gabriel!" Castiel shouted throwing his arms around his older brother.

"Dean" Sam nodded,

"Sam" Dean nodded back.

"Good day Cassie?" Gabriel ruffled Castiel's thick black locks, before introducing him to Dean. "This is my friend. Dean Winchester."

"Hi" Dean looked at the small boy on his right, those eyes were so blue and deep. Like they were holding a secret that was never to be told. Castiel didn't need to be able to the puppy dog face, those eyes would get him anything he wanted.

"Dean, this is my younger brother, Castiel" Gabriel contuied. "Cas, say hi."

Castiel's response was a weak smile. Dean just started in Castiel's eyes and Castiel just stared back into his.

"I'm Sam" Sam finally spoke up since no one else was going to introduce them.

"Gabriel"

They shock hands and dragged their brothers outside to the playground so they could sit down.

Sam and Gabriel, rather quickly figured out that they weren't going to be best friends anytime soon. Dean thought Castiel was an amazing guy and there was no doubt they were going to get along just fine. Castiel knew him and Dean we're going to be ok or at least he hoped they would be. Sure Castiel was shy but if you just, talked to him for a while, gave him some time to process what you said and then reply, he would relax and you can have a real conversation. Dean found out: Castiel's favorite colour was yellow, that he liked watching bee's and the clouds, he enjoyed watching the sunset and the sunrise, he liked writing poems. Castiel never thought they were any good but apparently Gabriel loved them. Castiel found out that: Dean's favorite colour was green, his favorite food was pie, he liked Cars and sports.

"So. Will I see you tomorrow?" Dean asked as he walked up to the car.

"Yes" Castiel answered from Dean's side.

"You boys aren't walking home alone, are you?" Dean's mother asked from drivers seat of the family car. (1967 chevy impala in black.)

"We normally do yeah" Gabriel nodded.

"No. That's not right. The streets are way to dangerous, I won't allow it. Come on, jump in. Where do you live?" Mary offered and it was clear that she was not going to take no for an answer.

"Thank you" Gabriel smiled, getting in.

"Dean, aren't you going to sit in the front?" Mary asked.

"No, I was going to let Sam sit in the front, he complains about it to much and I wanted to sit next to Cas" Dean blushed at the end of the sentence.

"Ok" his mum nodded, she thought it was so sweet that her son said something like that, "where do you guys live?"

"Londail, 21" Gabriel answered climbing into the seat on the left side, Dean on the right and Castiel in the middle.

When they arrived at the Novak house hold, Dean walked Castiel to the door and hugged him before he went to get back in the car,

"I'll see both of you tomorrow" he said waving as the car drove away.

"So, what do you think of Dean?" Gabriel asked he was about to knock on the door when it opened.

"His nice" Castiel nodded stepping in.

"He seems to like you" Gabriel observed making sure to walk in front of Castiel when they were inside.

"Who was that?" Their dad asked from his arm chair without even looking up.

"That was Dean Winchester, my best friend. His mum offered us a ride home" Gabriel stuttered, "welcome home Dad."

"Friend?" Mr. Novak burst into laughter. "Who, would want to be friends with you?" As their dad stepped out of his chair, Castiel coward behind his older brother, who guided him into the room they shared and sat him on his bed after closing the door behind him.

"It's ok, Cassie. I got you. He won't hurt you. Let me see" Gabriel started rolling up Castiel's sleeves to see the bruises left there before their dad went away. "It's healing. It'll be gone in no time" Gabriel reassured his baby brother.

"And be replaced with a new one" Castiel sniffed. Gabriel knew he was right.

"You're all better now" Gabriel sighed.

"Thank you, Gabriel" Castiel offered him his weakest smile. Gabriel knew that smile all to well. That was the smile Castiel gave him before he started crying. Gabriel hugged his little brother,

"It's ok. I'll protect you. I promise!"

(I'll update this as often as I can, I promise and the next chapter I just can't wait to start working on!)


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm Broken:**

Young Love:

Dean and Castiel had only known each other for a few days but Dean like liked Cas and he had been told by Gabriel that Castiel liked him back.

"Mum" Dean said from the shotgun seat, "can we stop off at the flower shop?"

"Why?" Mary asked starting the car,

"I want to buy Castiel some flowers" Dean blushed.

"Ok, but we'll have to hurry. What flowers are you looking for?"

"I don't know"

"We'll have a look when we get there" Mary began driving. And stopped outside the flower shop, "you coming Sam?" her youngest son nodded and followed them inside.

"Hurry up!" Mr. Novak shouted. "Castiel, Gabriel we're waiting on you! Micheal get everyone else in the car." Micheal lead everyone else outside,

"Castiel, hurry up please" Gabriel begged helping the other boy put his coat on. "Sorry dad" Gabriel bowed his head as he pulled Castiel out their bedroom door.

"You will be!" Waiting no time, took hold of both Gabriel and Castiel's head before bumping them together. "Now let's go!" Gabriel pulled Castiel into the car. The car was a white, van with only 7 seater car and had to hold 8 people, so Castiel was usually squashed against the door. dropped Micheal, Lucifer, Ralpheal, Uriel, Balthazar and Anna off frist, like usual. When Gabriel and Castiel got to school they were late.

"Sorry his late" apologized to Gabriel's teacher, "there was some car trouble. If he comes up in a bruise don't worry about it, him and Castiel bumped heads on the way out the door this morning, so it's nothing. Have a good day. See you at home."

"Flowers?" Gabriel noticed as he walked over to his seat.

"For Cas" Dean explained.

"You brought Cas flowers?" Gabriel thought it was sweet and he was sure Castiel would love it but their dad, he'd do all he could to destroy them.

After listening to his dad feed the same lie to his teacher Castiel walked over to his seat and sat down next to Sam.

"Hey" Sam said, Castiel's weak smile and teary eyes made Sam reliese Castiel was not in a talking mood. "Everything will be okay in the end, it always is."

"Thanks"

"Wanna talk about it?"

"I can't" Castiel whispered, "I'm not allowed."

"If you ever want to, I'm all ears" Sam assured him.

"I know. Thank" Castiel smiled again. They spent most of their lesson in silence, occasionally discussing their work. Castiel wasn't sure he would talk about it even if he could. He felt ashamed that he was to cowardly to stand up from himself and that he was too cowardly to stand up for Gabriel. Since Gabriel didn't deserve to get hit. Gabriel only go hit because he protected Castiel and Castiel got hit because everyone but Gabriel blamed him for the death of their mum, since she died while giving brith to him.

Like usual Gabriel and Dean waited for Castiel outside the class room. Dean hid the flowers behind his back until they were outside. When he was outside he turned to Castiel before they all sat down and presented the flowers to him.

"Cas" he began clearing his throat, he stayed up almost all night thinking about what to say. The younger boys blue eyes looking into his own green eyes, Dean was almost lost for words. "Would please accept these flowers?"  
"They're for me?" Castiel smiled taking the flowers from Dean's hand. "Thank you" he threw his arms around the older boy.

"Castiel, I like you. I like, like you" Dean blushed.

"I like, like you too Dean" Castiel's face turned a little red and Dean took his hand and offered Castiel to sit down.

"What what wrong with you today, you looked upset?" Dean moved his hand to Castiel's waist.

"We bumped heads" Gabriel answered, knowing that Castiel wouldn't.

Dean kissed Castiel's head, his mum kissed his boo-boo's to make them better, he hoped it worked for Cas.


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm Broken:**

Meet The Winchesters:

"Gabriel!" Sam shouted as he steadied himself after tripping over the boys foot.

"Sam" Gabriel shouted back as he stumbled back after Sam pushed him.

"Gabriel" Dean warned.

"What?" Gabriel asked innocently.

"Leave Sam alone" Castiel asked nicely.

"Sorry" Gabriel shrugged. Dean turned back to Castiel, who was at his side gazing at the clouds.

"Cas, you ok?" Dean asked. Castiel didn't answer. Going to Dean's house didn't bother him at all, Dean loved him so naturally Dean's family should too. Castiel was nervous about going home. His dad agreed to letting Castiel go to Dean's house way to easily. He didn't usually do that, he disagreed to let Gabriel go to Dean's for a year, why would he say yes Cas? Unless he had something evil planned for him. And since Castiel informed him about him and Dean, Mr. Novak had been even meaner to Castiel.

"Cas?" Dean waved a hand in front of his boyfriends face.

"What?" Castiel questioned, coming back to earth.

"Are you nervous about coming to my house?" Dean was worried about Cas. These past few days he's been distant.

"No" Castiel shock his head and put his hand in the one Dean had around his waist.

"Then, what's the matter?" Dean's eyes were sad and it broke Castiel's heart as he looked into them.

"He didn't get much sleep last night" Gabriel to the rescue.

"Why?" Dean turned on his best friend.

"He had a nightmare." Gabriel coughed.

"Didn't you have one the other night too?" Dean asked turning back to Castiel. Castiel hung his head. "What are all these nightmares about?"

Castiel couldn't actually say what they were about. He only ever had nightmare about his dad beating either him or Gabriel to death and lately had nightmare about Dean dying. With Castiel nodded and layed his head on Dean's shoulder.

"What are the nightmares about, Cas?" Dean said sternly.

"Monster"  
"Monsters?"

"Hitting me" Castiel's voice shock a little and Dean's heart flipped over in his chest at the sound of Castiel hurt.

"It was just a dream" Sam assured him.

"I know" Castiel said, "I know it's not real but it was scary."

"No need to worry anymore. I'd never let anything hurt you" Dean promised laying his cheek on Dean's head.

"Neither will I" Gabriel agreed.

"I know" Castiel closed his eyes to keep him his tears and if Dean could see them before they even feel he put both his arms around the boy. Everyone sat in silence as Dean wiped Castiel's eyes dry and promised he'd do everything he could to stop him from getting hurt.

"I know you would" Castiel sighed again, "I know."

After school Castiel hugged Gabriel good bye. Gabriel was going be in bed when Castiel go back but he would do his best to stay awake.

"I'm sorry" Castiel whispered in his ear before pulling away. He felt bad for leave Gabriel alone in there.

Gabriel gave him a weak smile and began walking home.

"Do you want a lift Gabriel?" Dean asked graping the boy by his shoulder.

"Thank you" Gabriel smiled at him, climbing into the car.

"No problem" John (Dean and Sam's father) smiled at him, "ready? Then let's go. I'm john by the way. Sam and Dean's dad.

"Bye Gabriel" Castiel waved with a sad, sympathatic smile as his older brother disappeared behind his house door.

"You'll see him when you get back" Dean laughed, ruffling Castiel's hair. He loved playing with Castiel's hair.

When they got to the Winchester house hold, Castiel was amazed. It was roughly the same size as the Novak house but there was bound to be more room inside. Since the Winchester house only needed to fit in 4 people, the Novak house held 9 people. It was awful. Crowded, since the Novak's only had one bath room and 5 bedrooms. Winchester house had 3 bedrooms and two bathrooms. It was bound to be spacious in there.

"It's beautiful" Castiel beamed at it.

"Follow me, I'll show you my room" Dean pulled Castiel up the stairs.

"You have you're own room?" Castiel was getting more amazed by the second.

"Of corse" Dean giggled opened his door. "Don't you?"

"No" Castiel slipped of his shoes and coat. "I share with Gabriel."

"Oh" Dean pulled his coat off. "What do you wanna play first?"

"I don't know" Castiel shyed away. He didn't really play anything. His house had no toys, no nothing to entertain children. He played the floor is lava once with Gabriel but they got told off for running around and jumping on the furniture.

"What do you normally play at home?" Dean dragged a toy box out from under his bed and looked up at Cas.

"I played the floor is lava with Gabriel once" Castiel said quietly.

"The floor is lava? How do you play that?" Dean was confused. _'How does the floor become lava?'_

"If you touch the floor, you die" Castiel watched as Dean stood up and out stretched his hand,

"We should play it down stairs" he thought. Dean led Castiel to the back yard. "Can we play here?"

Castiel inspected the garden. The was a climbing frame, a seesaw, a swing set, a round about, a slide and a sand pit. They were so close together, they were almost touching. Close enough so you could jump from one to the other.

"Here is fine" Castiel agreed.

"So, we jump from one thing to the next and as long as we don't touch the grass we're ok?" Dean wanted to be sure he understood the rules.

"Yeah" Castiel nodded.

"Ok" Dean climbed the climbing frame, Castiel not to far behind him. Several hours past with them just jumping from one piece of equipment to the other and then Castiel fell of the seesaw and into the 'lava'. Dean jumped in after him.

"Why'd you jump?" Cas asked when Dean was at his side.

"I didn't want to live without you" Dean admitted, his cheeks going read. Something inside them both snapped, as if they knew they we're going to be together forever. No matter what. Castiel gave Dean no warning, he just kissed him. Nothing but a quick peck, but to the both of them it felt like more than that.

"I love you Cas" Dean said when their lips parted.

"I love you too" Castiel pulled them both off the ground.

"Dinners ready" Came Mary's voice from the door in the kitchen that led into the garden.

They all sat around the table, Dean's arm possessively around Castiel's waist and Castiel's hand over the one Dean's hand. Castiel's plate was clean in under 10 minutes.

"Anyone would think you didn't eat at home" John joked. Castiel's eyes widened was he remembered the time when his dad threw his dinner in the bin because he split his water on way to the table.

"You do eat at home, right?" Mary became concerned at the boys absence.

"Huh - oh, yeah" Castiel shock his head with a smile as the memory faded.

"He's been doing that a lot lately" Dean looked up at his parents. "He just zones out."

"If you use your dreams up durning the day you won't have any at night" Mary nodded, flicking her blond her behind her shoulder.

"That explains the nightmares" Sam's thought.

"Nightmares?" Mary looked at Castiel.

"About monster" Dean remembered.

"Are they always the same or different?" John crossed his arms.

"I don't know" Castiel lied, "I don't remember."

"Ok. Well, they're just dreams. Castiel there not real" John clapped his hands.

"I know" Castiel sighed again, his eyes closing. For a while the silence hung. Everyone looked from one face to the next while all the other food was eaten.

When all the food was gone Castiel collected the plates and took them out.

"Oh, thank you" Mary said, taken by surprise, do you want some help with those? Dean, help him!"

"No, really, I'm fine. I do this all the time at home" Castiel came back in seating himself next to Dean.

"You don't have to do them here" John notified him.

"Oh well" Castiel shrugged. John and Mary exchanged looks.

"I guess, it's home time" Mary's voice was a little sad. For some reason she couldn't help but to wonder if taking Castiel home was the right thing to do. "You coming Dean?"

"Yes" Dean nodded the more he got with Cas the happier he was, he had to go. Dean and Castiel put on their shoes. Castiel couldn't tie his laces and he kept getting them in a knot.

"Here let me help" Dean chuckled moving over to him and helping him tie his shoes.

"Thank you" Castiel smiled, embarrassed that he couldn't even tie his own laces.

"Your welcome. Come on, let's get you back to Gabriel" Dean slipped his arm to it's usual place at Castiel's waist, holding him tight. "What's the matter?" Dean asked when he saw a thoughtful look cross Cas's face.

"Hmm? Oh, nothing" Castiel lied, "just tired." He looked back at Dean and smiled. Silence fell once again, it was blissful.

"Here we are" Mary said pulling up in front of the house. "See you tomorrow when I give you a lift back."

"Thank you" Castiel undone his seat belt and looked at Dean.

"I'll walk you to the door" Dean smiled, and followed him out. "Bye, Cas. I'll see you tomorrow." Dean knocked on the door, pulled Castiel into a hug and kissed him cheek before walk back to the car.

"Bye Dean" Castiel waved after him, flinching when he heard the door open.

"Thank you for having him" Mr. Novak waved at them, "you inside!"

Dean frowned at Cas's dad's words. How dare he talk to Cas like that.

Castiel stepped inside, "I'm sorry" he muttered.

"Get underdressed, lay down on my bed. Now!" shouted pouring himself another shot of whiskey. Castiel didn't understand why. His dad had never asked him to do that before. He was afraid to ask. But when he walked into his room wearing nothing but the underwear his dad threw at him when they were done. He flicked on the light and closed the door. He didn't want to be seen anymore. He felt ashamed, used, dirty and violated. He curled up under the covers. Trying to hold back his tears of pain.

"How was Dean's house?" Gabriel asked.

No reply.

"What did dad do to you?"

No reply.

"Did it hurt?"

Castiel whimpered, he couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Did he hit you?"

"Yeah. Only differently this time" Castiel sobbed.

"How?"

"You don't want to know" Castiel cried, curling up into a ball.


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm Broken:**

(I know a lot of you guys are confused about how old Dean, Sam, Gabriel and Cas are. Well when I started writing I always thought pre-school, then I re-read it and they don't talk the way pre-school-ers would talk. I do have mention that I'm not American. I'm actually english but since supernatural is American I thought i'd set the stroy in America where there is pre-school and elemtery and high-school and what ever. I've been making them talk the way my little brother (whose in nursery) would talk. They are meant to be in pre-school and I'll try harder to make the language seem more like that's where they are. I'm used to writing teenagers and adults so doing children was a challenge. I apolagise if your getting confused but I'm glad to know your enjoying it.)

Strength:

"Cas" Gabriel whispered in the silence of their room. "What did dad do to you?"

"I already said you don't want to know. I already said that!" In Castiel's voice, Gabriel could hear that he was going to cry.

"I wouldn't ask if I didn't want to know" Gabriel replied. When did Cas get so secretive?

"I don't want to talk about it" Castiel pouted even though he knew Gabriel couldn't see it.

"Was it bad? Real bad?" Gabriel knew Castiel was giving him the 'duh' look. "Did it - hurt?"

"Yeah" Castiel sniffed.

"Come on, kiddo. Don't cry" Gabriel remember his way across the room to Castiel's bed and crawled in next to him. Gabriel tried to remember the lullaby their mum used to sing. "Touch your heart. Close your bright eyes. Make a wish and say goodnight. The sky is wide and the stars will shine. I'll turn out the lights while you sleep real tight. Night little bro."

"Night, Gabriel." As Castiel drifted of to sleep he snored lightly. Gabriel, when he was sure Castiel was asleep, cried. Quietly, he didn't want to wake his baby brother. He could never cry in front of Cas. Castiel needed someone to be strong for him and Gabriel wasn't strong, but he needed Castiel to think he was. When Gabriel felt weak, he had to stay strong because that's what Cas needed.

He lost it the next day at school.

Like always they were outside, sitting around the same old table. Dean and Castiel on one side and the Gabriel and Sam on the other side, as far away from each other as could get.

"Anymore nightmares Cas?" Dean asked, the silence was awkward.

"No" Castiel shock his head. He didn't sleep enough to have nightmares anymore.

"Good" Dean kissed Castiel's forehead. Gabriel made fake puking nosies and Sam slapped him for being mean. Gabriel, froze. He remember his dad hitting him, and he remembered how it hurt.

"Gabriel" Castiel looked, concerned at his older brother. Gabriel, coming out of his flash back, looked up,

"What?"

"You ok?"

"Fine. Why?"

"Just asking" Castiel looked Gabriel up and down before gazing at the clouds again.

Silence fell again. Castiel clinging to Dean's waist for safety. Dean holding him steady. When Sam spoke to ruin the silence.

"What happened to your face?"

"Sam, don't -" Castiel began.

"Who done it?" Sam taunted Gabriel as they glared at each other.

"I walked into the car door" Gabriel hung his head, not being able to make eye contact when he lied.

"Did it hurt?" Sam was trying not be concerned. He didn't care about Gabriel. Him and Gabriel hated each other. He couldn't care about him. No, of corse not.

"Should I push you into a car door, see if that hurt?" Gabriel shouted anger flaring up inside of him.

"You said you walked into it" Sam crossed his arms.

"Keep talking to me like that and I will push your head into a car door" Gabriel stormed off before he even had a chance.

"I talk to him" Castiel suggested running after Gabriel.

"Sam, be nice" Dean warned him. Gabriel was his best friend and Sam was his baby brother and they hated each other.

"Did you hear what I said?" Gabriel feel back against the wall in the boys bath room. "I sounded like dad."

"No. You won't do it. Will you?" Castiel sat next to him, patting his shoulder.

"I said it though"

"You wouldn't do it, even to Sam" Castiel repeated. Gabriel hated himself for crying in front of someone he was meant to protect. He spoke like his dad and he was crying. Gabriel stood in front of the mirror and wiped his eyes.

"Let's enjoy beak?" Castiel asked.

"I don't want to turn out like dad, Cas"

"You won't."

"If I do -"

"You won't"

"If I do - kill me!"

"Gabriel"

"I mean it!" Gabriel said sternly. Castiel felt sad that Gabriel even thought he was little like their dad. Gabriel was far ever being like him.

"You won't. Come on" Castiel pulled him outside.


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm Broken:**

(Since someone asked I'll tell, is not Chuck. There is no way on this earth I could ever make Chuck do that, his too awesome. I call him because I suck at thinking of names.)

It's not goodbye:

"I'm going to miss you Dean" Castiel sighed sadly. Dean started his new school tomorrow and Castiel was sure Dean would forget all about him. He'd meet new people find someone else.

"What are you talking about? I'm coming over tomorrow after school" Dean smiled down at him. "Remember."

"You'll meet new friends, forget all about me. I'm sure of it" Castiel's dad had been shouting at Castiel the night before, **'Dean will forget all about you when he goes to elemtery. His better off without you.' **Castiel could still hear his dad saying it, in the back of his head.

"No, I won't. I love you"

"Promise"

"I promise."

Castiel walked through his front door waving goodbye to Dean as he did so.

The next day, Gabriel walked into his class on his first day of elemtery. Dean was in his luck, thank god.

"Listen!" Gabriel said sitting next to him, "If you fall in love with someone else that's fine, but that doesn't mean you stop talking to Cas. He's my little brother and if you forget about him, -"

"I've already spoken to him about this, I have. Listen, Gabriel. I won't forget about Cas. I love him, I owe him my life forever" Dean rolled eyes. This was getting tiring.

"Yes" Gabriel crossed his arms.

"When you're both finished" the teacher said clearing her throat. "I'll see you both before break!"

Their first day and their in trouble already.

"He comes up next year anyway" Dean whispered.

"He worries" Gabriel replied.

"One more peep out of either of you and it's detention!" The teacher shouted.

"Sorry" Gabriel apologized.

"Don't let me hear you speak again!"

Since this is Dean and Gabriel, of corse they spoke again and of corse she heard them, so they ended up in the detention hall with a phone call home.

John and Mary, since Dean was going to Gabriel and Castiel's house after school anyway, we're really bothered.

, on the other hand, he was more upset. Dean and Gabriel were walking home but he promised Gabriel that he was going to get a good beating after Dean left. The teacher who was meant to be watching them had locked them in while he went to the toilet.

"The windows open" Gabriel pointed out. "We might be able to fit through it.

"You're small, you go first" Dean instructed following him. Gabriel climbed on the window ledge, wriggled one leg threw, closely followed by the other leg. Dean pushed his head through and followed. He could footsteps and if theres one thing worse that detention it's self, it's getting caught trying to escape from detention. Once out the ran out the school gate and didn't stop until they came to the end of the road. Both out of breath the fell to the floor in a fit of laughter.

"Oh my god" Dean panted standing back up.

"Come on. Let's go, Cassie will be waiting for us" Gabriel and Dean took a slow walk to the Novak house hold. Castiel must have seen them coming because he'd opened the door before they'd even knocked.

"Dean!" He shouted, his smile wider that it as ever be as he threw his arms around the older boy.

"Nice to see you to Cas" Gabriel pouted pushing past them.

"It's weird not seeing you" Dean admitted, his arm at Castiel's side as they followed Gabriel in.

"Guys this is Dean" Castiel said. No one was listening. To busy with their own activities. Anna was reading, Balthazar was looking at music sheets, Uriel and Ralpheal were having a staring contest, Lucifer was watching something on t.v and Micheal was at the table doing homework.

"I thought you'd be taller" said appearing round the corner.

"This is Anna" Castiel pointed to the red head as she turned the page.

"Stop being rude" Gabriel shouted snatching the book from his sisters hand.

"Gabriel" Anna and shouted at the same time.  
"This is Dean" Castiel said timidly.

"Whatever" Anna stole her book back.

"Hi too you too" Dean moved on.

No one was really interested. He was lucky if they even looked up.

"Castiel, get me a drink" Came Uriel's voice.

"Do it yourself" Gabriel to the rescue. "Castiel has his boyfriend over."

"Gabriel, I wasn't talking to you" Uriel said his eyes still fixed on Ralpheal.

"You're closer an- ow" Dean glared at Castiel as he got an elbow to the chest.

"What do you want?" Castiel sighed walking to the fridge.

"Milk" Uriel demanded.

"I'll do it" Gabriel said, "Castiel had a guest."

"See Castiel" smiled, "you should offer, not have to be asked."

"Here" Gabriel held the drink out towards Uriel, when Uriel went to grab it Gabriel jolted the glass, spilling the milk all over Uriel.

"You blinked!" Ralpheal cheered, "I won!"

"Gabriel!" The dad shouted, "no clear it up!"

Dean had left an hour ago and Gabriel still hadn't came back into Castiel's room. He was afraid that their dad was doing to Gabriel what we did to him. Finally the door opened. Yeah, there was look, the flicking of the light, the shuffling of hurt feet. Laying on his front because his back was hurting to much.

"I'm sorry I let him do that to you" Gabriel cried.

"It's not your fault. The pain goes away after a while. Did yours bleed too?" Castiel whispered.

"Yeah. He said it was to show love but -"

"All it does is hurt? I know."

They let silence hang in the air for awhile. Gabriel bit his lip through the pain. After a while Castiel slipped into Gabriel's bed and started singing the lullaby that Gabriel taught him, Gabriel needed is sleep, but he was going to be sore in the morning. They can't go on like this. Something had to be done, but what?


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm Broken:**

Sick day:

Dean had told Gabriel that Sam was ill. Gabriel acted like he was happy but he was a little worried. When Castiel was ill Gabriel would have to look after him, sure Mary was there to look after Sam but Gabriel was still worried and he didn't know why.

"Hi Sammy" Gabriel smirked as he poked his head round Sam's bedroom door.

"I feel bad enough already. Go away" Sam coughed.

"I was only asking if you were ok, I was" Gabriel entered and sat on the chair by Sam's bed.

"Where's mum?"

"She went shopping with your dad. Dean's down stairs with Cassie" Gabriel explained.

"You said you *cough* you said, *cough, cough* hated me, you did" Sam grinned and coughed again. His coughs were dry and wracking obviously they were painful.

"I do" Gabriel snapped quickly.

Sam chuckled a little, "I'm *cough, cough* I'm fine."

"If you need me shout, or whisper since you have a sore throat" Gabriel got up to leave.

*Cough* "I don't want to be alone, I don't. Please, stay. We can talk" Sam had forgotten about his hate for Gabriel, selfish as it might be he didn't want to be left alone right now.

Gabriel didn't even think about, he was sitting back in the chair in a matter of seconds.

"So, do you have any new friends at your school?" Cas asked as he looked down at Dean.

Dean looked up at the boy who lay on his chest,

"No. The other kids don't like me very much. I told them about you and me and they just went all nasty on me."

"How long will Gabe be in there?" Castiel asked his eyes flicking to the stair case.

"He seemed worried" Dean told him.

"He did? They hate each other. Do you think he likes Sam?"

"I think Sam likes him, he does, I think"

"I think he likes Sam. Bugs bunny!" Castiel shouted.

"Did you want to watch it?"

"Yeah"

"Ok. I'll put it on" Dean pressed the ok button on the remote.

"I miss you" Castiel sighed.

"I miss you too" Dean smiled strockng Castiel's hair.

"How are your *cough* brothers and your sister "cough, cough* and your dad?" Sam asked Gabriel.

"I don't want to talk about it" Gabriel almost shouted but remember Sam was ill and didn't need to be shouted at.  
"Why?"

"I just don't."

"What did you do to your arm?" Sam asked noticing the cast.

"I feel off the swing. I stood up on it and my dad was pushing the swing and I fell off. It's not funny!" Gabriel threw the sick boy a scowl as he smiled.

"Dean said you guys got a detention on your first day"

"Yeah, we did. We was talking about him and Cas. I said if he hurts Cas I'd have to beat him up" Gabriel shrugged like it was nothing.

"Dean wouldn't hurt Cas. He won't" Sam shock his head and coughed a few more times.

"Did you see a doctor?"

"No. Mum said it's just a cold. I'll be fine" Sam coughed again as he tried to sit up.

"Lay down. Sitting up is only good if you're going to be sick - oh, you, you are gonna be sick? Eww" Gabriel held the bucket out in front of Sam and rubbed his back as he pucked into the bucket. "I'm gonna get water." Gabriel placed the bucket on the floor and almost ran down the stairs to get Sam some water before running upstairs. Almost spilling the cup of water on his way.

He handed the plastic cup to Sam and lifted it to his lips.

"Stop, Sam stop!" Gabriel placed the water onto the bedside table, "drink to fast and you'll be sick again."  
"We're back" John shouted opening the door, then gave an apologetic smile to Dean when he noticed Castiel was asleep on top of him.

"Mum" Dean whispered, "can you check on Sammy, Cas is asleep."

"Sure, I though Gabriel was in there with him" Mary said placing the bag in the kitchen and marching up the stairs.

"Is he still alive?" she joked poking her head around the door.

"Hi mum" Sam coughed when he looked up.

"He is" Mary smiled at Gabriel when she noticed he was caring for him, lifting the water to his mouth. "I see you're in good hands. Play nicely!".

"He won't be playing. He has to get better. Sick people aren't allowed to play, they aren't" Gabriel put the cup down, rubbing Sam's back as he puked again. "When you can keep food down, you can play."

"His fine, Gabriel's treating him like that's his kid or something" Mary smiled at them walking back in.

"That's how he is with Cas. When Cas is sick" Dean adjusted to Castiel's movements.

"Doesn't their dad look after him?"

"There is 8 of them Mary" John reminded him.

"That's no excuse" Mary shock her head.

"They don't talk about it" Dean smiled as Cas tightened his grip. Suddenly, he awoke, shaking.

"What's the matter?" Dean asked as Castiel sat up.

"Nightmare" Castiel whispered, shaking inside Dean's arms.

"What was it about?"

No answer.

"What was it about, Cas?"


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm Broken:**

(So, I understand that some people think that they still sound teen-ish. I think in a way that emphases how bad what's happening to them makes them feel. Gabriel, since he has been caring for Castiel since Castiel was born it proves that he had to grow up to fast. Castiel, feels guilty because Gabriel looks after him and he wants to look after Gabriel too so he, also, had to grow up fast I think it only makes sense. What do you think?)

Worry:

"Are feeling better?" Castiel asked as Sam sat down next to him.

"Yeah, say thank you to Gabriel for me" Sam smiled sitting down. "Dean wanted me to ask, valentines day mum and throw a party and he wants you to go."

"Yes. What should I get him? What does he like?" Castiel started panicking, Dean was his boyfriend and he didn't know what to get him.

"Pie" Sam said, "he likes pie."

"Ok. Pie."

"Is Sam feeling better today?" Gabriel asked sitting next to Dean.

"Yeah, thanks to you" Dean smiled at him,

"I can go back to hating him now" Gabriel joked.

"You care" Dean said, "I know you do."

"I don't!" Gabriel unknowingly raised his voice,

"Is there a problem?" The teacher asked turning away from the black board.

"No" Dean coughed.

"Then, quite please!"

"Sorry, Mrs. Shurley" Gabriel apolaigzed.

They sat in silence until break time came and they were allowed to step outside for some fresh air.

"How is Cas?" Dean whispered, "any more nightmares?"

Gabriel didn't know how to answer. Since Dean and Castiel got together was even more mean to them, like he was getting more hungry to cause them pain. So Castiel was in an awful state but in a way Castiel was still happy because he knew people still cared about him.

"Well? What's wrong, is he ok?" Dean was paniced by Gabriel's silence.

"Yes. His fine. His at school" Gabriel finally spoke after minutes of aimless thinking.

"Cas loves school" Dean smiled remembering Castiel's smile when he arrived at the school gates and the smile slightly fading as he realized he had to leave. "Doesn't he like it at home?"

"Our family is fine!" Gabriel shouted sitting at their usual table.

"I shouldn't have said anything" Dean took a slice of cake out of his pocket. "Want some?"

"Whatever" Gabriel shrugged it off and took a piece, "thank you."

"Cas must be really clumsily" Dean laughed a little, not fully understanding what he was talking about.

"What?" Gabriel snapped wiping his mouth free of crumbs.

"He's always covered in bruises and cuts. I asked and he said he fell over. I never see him fall over" Dean thought, trying to remember where a time where Castiel even stumbled but he couldn't. Castiel was always so careful.

"Theres a lot of stuff laying around. We both trip over it. At home everyone just throws their stuff down and everyone trips over it, all the time. We do" Gabriel sighed, sadly.

"Oh" Dean shrugged, thinking nothing of it. Gabriel was so good at lies even his best friend would believe him.

"Hey, Cas" Dean smiled as he climbed in his car, seeing Castiel was already there, ready to go home.

"Are you coming to the valentines party?" Dean was hopeful. He wanted everyone to meet Castiel since everyone had heard of him and was waiting to get the chance meet him.

"I'll ask" Castiel sighed. He didn't think his dad would say yes but he had to try. If there is even a chance he'll let Castiel go, no matter what happened Castiel had to try.

"What's the matter? Don't you want to go?" Dean asked picking up the sadness in Castiel's voice.

"I'm just thinking about what my dad will say" Castiel sighed again.

"He's your dad right?" Mary asked from the driver seat, "surly, he'll be ok with it, right?" Mary still had concerns for the two boys safety at home since, Castiel stayed over for dinner. She was worried about them. Always bruises or cut. Always looking sad when it was home time. Always sounding hurt when their family was mentioned. She had her concerns, she had her worried. She knew what she had to do, but she wasn't sure it was worth it but if it might save some kids, it's worth a try, isn't it? Both Gabriel and Castiel were skinny, you could see their bones sticking out.

"I'm not sure" Castiel said, Gabriel threw him a look. "He's been a little moody lately."

"I'm sure he'll let you go" Gabriel tried to lead his younger brother off the path he was going down, "work. It stresses him out."

"What does your dad do?" Mary asked.

"We don't know" Gabriel said. Their dad was actually unemployed and away a lot. "Besides. Dad's away, working. It's Micheal's choice."

"How old is Micheal?" Mary asked, wanting to be sure they had someone to look after them who could keep them safe.

"His 17 and so is Lucifer" Gabriel answered, Micheal was a lot like their dad only he didn't beat them.

"Oh. He looks after you boys alright, when your dad's away. Doesn't he?"

They boys were getting weired out by her constant questions.

"Yes" Gabriel hesitated, "his a good brother. He looks after us. Has most of our lives."

"Oh" she said again. "For how long?"

"Depends on how long dad's away for" Gabriel said again.

"No, how long has Micheal been looking after you?"

"Since, Cas was born. Our dad went away for a while and since then he'd be home a few weeks, leave for a few days, back and go and back and go. He's always leaving" Gabriel's voice was a mix between happy and sad.

"How do you feel about that? It must be hard with him always being gone" Mary looked at them in the rear view mirror.

"It's been like that ever since Cassie was born. It's normal" Gabriel looked out the window. That time his voice was emotionless, like there was no feeling there at all. Mary pulled up outside the Novak house hold.

"If you guys ever need anything, call" she passed them a piece of paper with her number on it, she kept on in her bag at all time, just incase it was ever needed and handed it to them. "Or" she contuied "you can just walk to our house. It's not that far away. If something is bothering you, no matter what it is, big or small. Call me or John. You can even talk to Sam and Dean about it. I promise, we care. Let me know what you Dad say's Cas. I'll see you boys after the weekend." She waited for Dean to come back after walking the boys to their door and then she drove off.

"Micheal" Castiel said timidly, "On valentines day"

"Valentines day isn't for another mouth" Micheal said not looking up at them.

"Dean want's to know if I can go to his party" Castiel finished.

"You're asking me because you know Dad always go away for valentines day, if it gets you out of my hands you can go." Micheal shooed the boys away with his hand.

"Are you sure about this Mary?" John asked sitting next to he at the phone while making sure the boys were still playing outside.

"Yes. I have to try, something is really wrong over there" Mary was sure it was right.

"Ok. Do it" John nodded handing her the phone. Mary took the phone and typed in the number.

"Hello, social serves? I have a complanate. Yes, I'll hold..."


	8. Chapter 8

**I'm Broken:**

Not going anywhere:

"Mr. Novak ?" Came a voice from the other end of the phone.

"Yes" he answered.

"Hi, My name is Shirley Smith. I'm a social worker, there have been a few complaints about the safety of you children. We would like to schedule a visit as soon as possable. This week preferably."

"Yes, of corse. How does Sunday sound?" said, his face showed anger but his voice was the softest anyone had ever heard it.

"Sunday, yes that's fine. I will see you then, thank you. Good bye" Shirley hung up the phone. Castiel was worried now. Something was wrong and he knew he'd get blamed for it. He always did.

"Children, I have something to discus with you" took a deep breath. "It's a family matter and it's important so everyone gather round."

Everyone sat down. , Lucifer and Micheal on the couch. Uriel and Ralpheal on the arm chairs. Anna and Balthazar on the two closest seats at the table and Gabriel and Castiel, to no surprise were sitting on the floor.

"Tomorrow" announced. "Some one is coming over to check up on us. To make sure this place is safe and to make sure that your all happy here-"

"What if we're not?" Gabriel inturrputed.

"If you're not happy here you are more than welcome to tell her. However, if you don't like it her, you will all be separated. Taken away from one another and placed into orphanages. Away from me, away from this house, away from each other, away from you school and all your friends or girlfriends or boyfriends. You will never see me or each other again. You will be, forever alone" was making more dramatic than it needed to be but he knew everyone would believe him. Castiel gripped onto Gabriel's hand. He couldn't lose Gabriel, but he couldn't take anymore of this either.

"Don't worry Cas" Gabriel whispered. "No one will take you away from me. I won't let them."

"Gabriel, I'm scared" Castiel was about to cry, Gabriel could hear it in his voice.

"You should be" Gabriel took hold of both of Castiel's hands.

"If you guys aren't happy here, I'm sorry and I love you all" bowed and left the room, going into his own bedroom. His voice throwout the hole speech was emotionless, as if he really did feel nothing.

"I want to talk to Dean" Castiel stuttered. "He has to know."

"It's not a good idea. It's not." Gabriel tried to talk him out of it but Castiel had already gone to ask their dad.

"Dad" Castiel knocked on the door.

"What!"

"I want to see Dean"

"Can his mum pick you up?"

"Yes" Castiel nodded.

didn't want to say yes, but he needed Castiel to be able to say _dad let's me out whenever I want. _

"Ok" he said finally, "be home by 6."

"I'll call Mary" Gabriel took the number from his pocket and with a little from the foot stool reached the phone.

"Hi, Cas want's to see Dean. It's not ok but it will be. Can you - can you pick us up, please? Thank you." Gabriel hung up the phone.

"Before you go, can you get me a drink" Uriel shouted.

"No" Gabriel shouted back.

"Ok" Castiel gave in way to easily and Gabriel just pulled him back, "no, Cas" he said sternly. "Uriel is old enough to do it himself!" After tying Castiel's shoe's Gabriel led him outside to wait for Mary to come and get them.

"What's the matter boys?" Mary asked when she pulled up.

"We might get taken away" Castiel's voice was sad.

"Why?"

"We don't know" Gabriel sighed, still holding Castiel's hand.

"Who's going to take you away?"

"Some women. She's coming over tomorrow"

"I'm sure she just wants to help" Mary assured them, trying not to make it to obvious this was her doing.

"We don't need help" Gabriel shouted. "We never have. We're doing fine!" Castiel hated hearing Gabriel shout. It always made him feel upset. Gabriel hated shouting. It always made him feel like he was turning into his dad but sometime he couldn't help it.

"I'm sure you are, but this women, properly only means well. I'm sure she's just doing her job, her best interest is your safety."

"Cas" Dean jumped for joy when he noticed Castiel jumping out of the car.

"Dean" Castiel automaticity smiled, it was reaction to seeing Dean's face. He just suddenly became happy, like nothing was wrong. Gabriel felt happy seeing Castiel like that. It would be torture if Castiel got taken away from here, he'd be away from Dean, what if he was never happy again? If Gabriel was unhappy it didn't matter, but if Cas was unhappy, it was horrible. If Cas couldn't have Gabriel he'd need Dean there's no way he could live without both.

"I missed you" Dean smiled taking the boy in his arms. "What are you doing here?"

"Might be in trouble" Castiel mumbled, his eyes on his feet.

"How?" Dean pulled away and led the small boy onto the couch.

"A women is coming over tomorrow. She might take me and Gabriel away" Castiel was going to cry again.

"What are you doing here?" Came Sam's voice from the stairs with much disgust as he saw Gabriel. Gabriel, not being in the mood for talking just pointed to Castiel and Dean on the couch.

"But, you can't leave me" Dean was worried now too.

Mary felt bad for doing it but it had to be done. made it sound worse than it was. They tried to keep families together. If there was somewhere else for the children to go then that's where they would go. But the Novak's had no other family. Their mums side of the family blamed for the death of his wife and was an only child with two dead parents. Unless someone from their mums side of the family had big enough house for everyone, they would get split up. What had she done?

"I won't" Castiel was shaking and his voice was cracking. The thought of being without Dean made him feel more upset than almost anything else.

"I'll do everything I can, to get us to stay" Gabriel assured them both.

"Good" Dean offered his best friend a weak smile and took Castiel into his arms again.

**The next day:**

"Good morning" came Shirley's voice from behind the door. The Novak children we're lined up, oldest to youngest. Lucifer, Micheal, Ralpheal, Uriel, Anna, Balthazar, Gabriel and Castiel.  
"Nice to meet you. I'm Gordon Novak. These are my children. This is Lucifer" He begun.

"Hi" she offered him her hand and after a certain look from his father, Lucifer took he hand and shock it.

"Nice to meet you" he said. Of corse he was lying. People were one of the worst things on the planet in Lucifers mind.

"I'm Micheal" he bowed, shaking he hand.

"Ralpheal"

"Uriel"

"Anna"

"Balthazar"

"I'm Gabriel" he forced himself smile, hoping it didn't look to fake, "Cas you gonna say hi? Sorry, his shy. Say hi."

"Hello" he said timidly shaking her hand.

"Hi" she smiled at him before turning back to . "I will have to talk to all of them, alone and I will have to speak to you, then I'll go back to the office, share the information with my manager and discus further action should I deiced more is needed. Ok?"

"Of corse" nodded.

Nor Castiel nor Gabriel had any more bruises to show. They'd all faded since, , after finding out about Shirley Smith had stopped beating them so they had no evidence of abuse and he was being nicer so they could say, _'dad lets me do this'_ or _'dad does this for me' _and so on.

"Shall we start with you?" Shirley turned to Castiel first, who cowered behind Gabriel.  
"Cas, she doesn't bite. No one will hurt you here. Go" Gabriel pushed his little brother toward her.

"Where's your room, it's better if we talk in there" she smiled warmly at him and allowed him to show her his room. "Wow. I see you share a room, is it with Gabriel?"

"Yes" he said taking a seat on his bed, knees into his body, chin resting on them.

"It's ok. I'm not here to hurt anyone, I'm only here to help. I only have a few questions, some of them might be unpleasant but, you need to answer them ok. I have plenty of tissues should you ever need any. Ok?"

"Yes" Castiel nodded.  
"First of all, I want to ask about you're mother" she watched him for a reaction before taking out a note book and pen to write notes on. "Do you know what happened to her?"

"She died" Castiel said timidly.

"Do you know how?"

"She was really tired."

"Ok. How do you feel? I bet you miss her, right?"

"I never met her" he looked down, he didn't want to sound mean but it's hard to miss someone you never knew. "I would have liked to meet her."

"I bet she must have been a great women. How does you're dad take it? Do you go on visits to her grave?"

"He does"

"You don't?"

"No place for children"

"I see, that's fair enough. Does he take care of you guys ok? You know, feed you and stuff?"

"Of corse" Castiel said, so far, so good.

"3 meals a day?"

"Yes."

"Good. Does he ever lose his temper?"

"He shouts, sometimes" Castiel was finding these questions hard to answer already.

"Has he ever hit anyone? Any of you kids?"

"No" Castiel lied, but like Gabriel, he was good at it. No one knew the difference. "Are you going to take us away?"

"No. That's not my intention. I'm here to help" Shirley assured him. "Here to help. Is he ever mean to either of you?"

"He shouts, sometimes" Castiel repeated.

"Ok. Can you send Gabriel in please?"

...

"You must be, Anna? I see you share a room too, might I ask who with?" Shirley offered her a seat.

"Balthazar" Anna answer, sitting on her bed.

"Right. And how is that. It must rather embarrassing, sharing with a boy" Shirley joked.

"No. It's always been that way. Me and Balthazar have always had to share. That's just the way it is. You get used to it" Anna nodded, tucking her red hair behind her ears.

"I see. How is it, sharing with him? Does he get on your nervous?"

"It's a matter of, I stay out of his way and he stays out of mine" Anna explained, "as long as I don't bother him, he won't bother me!"

"I see. Does he, pardon me, ever touch you. In your privet area?" Shirley asked.

"What? No. His my brother" Anna screwed her face up with disgust at the thought. "I'd shot him if he even thought about it!"

"I understand, these are just retinue questions, as bad and strange they sound, we have to ask them" Shirley apolaigzed.

"Whatever, no. He's never done that and, he wouldn't. It's just - It's just not like him. At all" Anna shock her head, shuddering at the thought.

...

"Hi, you must be Lucifer" Shirley was glad to be at the last one. They all seemed so different yet so alike. Wanting to keep their lives to themselves. As far she could tell, every single on of them was fine. She was awful at reading body language and tone of voice as well as just listening to the words.

"Yes" Lucifer sat on Micheal's bed, since his was being taken by Shirley.

"Ok, so -"

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Why are you here, what makes you think something is wrong? We're all happy here. Unless someone has told you any different" Lucifer crossed his arms.

"It's just a check up. We're not really allowed to explain our sources. The complainant wished to remain anonymous, i'm afraid. I'm just here to make sure everyone's ok, here."

...

"Mr. Novak. Just a few questions. Some of them might be unpleasant but I have tissues if any are needed" Shirley said finally finishing with the children and moving onto their father.

"That's fine, thank you" over the years he;d gotten so good a faking emotion that if Castiel and Gabriel hadn't been shown otherwise, they'd believe he cared too.

"Your wife, Debbie, she died while giving birth to Castiel, is that correct?"

"Yes, it is" Mr. Novak nodded. "The poor guy. He blames himself, I know he does. He doesn't say it but, it's obvois, when she's even mentioned he changes."

"Yes, I've noticed. How did you and the children take her death?"

"I'm not going to lie, I was a changed man for a few days after that. I was in a state of depression. Unforantunatly, I made it so that Lucifer and Micheal had to do most things. I sort of slapped myself out of it. Thinking, Debbie wouldn't want me being like this. She's want me to look after her children. So I kept on with it."

"I see. The children?"

"It is their mother. Castiel, he never got to meet her. In a way he was lucky. You can't miss what you never knew but also in a way he as bad because, he has to live knowing that his mum died and he lived. I know, I could never live with a burden like that. I'm not blaming him because there is nothing he could have done."

"Yes, well" Shirley turned the page in her note book, "If you ever need help looking after the children, do you know where help can be found?"

"I know of several nanny agencies and baby sitting companies that are based near by yeah."

...

Gabriel was laying in bed, having just sung the lullaby to Castiel, he was laying next to him. At first he thought he was awake, only then was it that he saw his mum, sitting on Castiel's bed and he thought,_ 'this has to be a dream.'_

"Mum?" Gabriel sighed with half hearted smile.

"Hi, pumpkin. I'm proud of you. Looking after Castiel like this" she smiled at him. "It must be hard."

"I can handle it" Gabriel nodded.

"I know you can. You always have. You had to grow up to fast. Too fast and I'm proud of you for not giving in. Anyone else in your position would have been weak."

"I'm not weak. I have to be strong. Cas needs me to be strong!"

"I know he does" she smiled again. "Tell Castiel I love him. Never let him forget that it wasn't his fault. Never left him forget I love him too. I know you will do anything to keep him safe. Anything" Debbie began to disappear.

"I will. I promise" Gabriel woke up. This time for real. He looked down at the sleepy Castiel in his arms. Looking at the alarm clock, he checked the time. It was mid day. "Cassie" Gabriel said, shaking him, "wake up." Castiel moaned, stretched and let his eyes flutter open.

"I have to tell you something" Gabriel said remembering his dream, "mum loves you. She doesn't blame you. She loves you, and she's proud." Castiel smiled, but tilted his head at the same time. Gabriel had never said that before. Gabriel reminded him that their mums death wasn't his fault but he never remembered Gabriel saying,_ 'mum loves you.'_

"Come on, I'll make breakfast" as they walked out he saw their dad on the phone.

"Yes, thank you" Mr. Novak said. "Bye" with a fake smile he hung up. "That was Shirley" he turned to his children. "She agrees that this house is a safe place for children. You are all allowed to stay but if there are anymore complaints, next time, further action will be taken straight away."

Gabriel and Castiel had mixed feelings about this. Yay, they get to stay together but at what cost. They didn't think they could take anymore. What had they done?

As Gabriel sat next to Castiel, eating his breakfast he remember something his mum said, _'I know you will do anything to keep him safe. Anything'_ what did she mean by that?


	9. Chapter 9

**I'm Broken:**

Valentines Day:

"Don't worry, he'll love it" Gabriel smiled walking his little brother to the Winchesters family car. (Mary was kind enough to pick him up.)

"What'd you get?" Mary asked him as he got in.

"Appel pie" Castiel said timidly, climbing into the back seat behind Mary.

"He'll love it" Mary smiled, "nice to see you Gabriel."

"Mary?" Gabriel said, "can I ask you something?"

"Of corse"

"You always say, you know Dean would do anything to keep Sam safe"

"Yes"

"What does that mean?"

"It means that, no matter what the consequences mean for Dean, if it keeps Sam safe, he'll do it. As long as Sam is safe and happy, that's all that matters to Dean. Why do you ask?" Mary was confused.

"Just wondering" Gabriel shrugged. "So, anything?"

"Anything" Mary nodded.

"Ok. Thank you, bye Cas. I'll see you later" As Gabriel strolled back towards the house, both, Castiel and Mary watched him.

"What was that about?" Mary turned in her seat.

"Don't know" Castiel shrugged.

...

"Dean, should be in the garden. His properly talking to Sam or Jo" Mary smiled opening the door, "here, have a chocolate." Castiel put his hand in the bowl of heart shaped chocolate and took out one. Then he ran off into the garden. Beautifully decorated in red, pink, hearts and all the other valentines day decorations. Suddenly Castiel came crashing to the floor. Dean had snuck up behind him as jumped on his back, down the two of them went.

"Hi, Cas" Dean chuckled getting up.

"Dean" Castiel allowed his boyfriend to pull him up and handed the pie box over.

"What's this?" Dean opened it, "thank you" he smiled, throwing his arms around the boy.

*Flash*

"Jo?" Dean asked, blinking.

"Hi, Dean" the 4 year old girl smiled. Her blue eyes shinning.

"This is Castiel" Dean picked up his warped present from the table behind him.

"Hi" Jo smiled, "photo?"

"You just took one"

"please?"

"Cas?" Dean asked, how could Castiel say no to that face?

"Ok" he nodded. Relaxing a little at the feeling to Dean's arms around him.

*Flash*

"Thank you" Jo hurried away.

"Here" Dean handed Castiel a wrapped box.

"Thank you" Castiel smiled, taring the paper from the box and throwing it in the near by trash can. Opening the box he saw a framed picture of the two of them. On it, it read:

_I love you, my angel._

_Dean xx. _

Castiel felt like he could cry.

"I love you too" Castiel pulled Dean into his arms.

"I love you more" Dean whispered into his boyfriends ear.

"I love you most" Castiel replied.

"That's impossible" Dean laughed. He took both his and Castiel's gifts inside to keep them safe before returning outside. Mary and John were putting the blankets and towels down for the picnic dinner thing that they had every year.

"Food?" Castiel asked, noticing people bringing out trays.

"Not yet. Soon. Hungry, are you?" Dean wondered.

"I didn't have breakfast, I didn't"

"Why not?"  
"Because... I wasn't hungry" Castiel sighed, he hated lying to Dean and the worst of it, Dean always believed him.

"Ok. You can eat soon, is everything ok?" Dean asked.

"Yes. Why?"

"You always look sad" Dean gazed into the blue eyes opposite him, hoping to gain some truth from them.

"I'm ok" Castiel's smile was weak and although Dean wanted to believe, he just couldn't.

"If you say so" Dean looked Castiel up and down, before sliping his arm to it normal position at Castiel's waist. "Food?"

"Please?" Castiel tilted his head upwards to kiss Dean's check.

*Flash*

_'So many people, flashes going of every 2 seconds. I feel so out of place, yet I feel at home' _Castiel thought, picking up a plastic plate. Castiel knew that he could eat whatever he wanted and as much as he wanted here without being called a pig, so he stacked his plate full of food, picked up a juice box and followed Dean over to the blanket they were going to sit at.

"Have you been sleeping ok, Cas?" John asked as they sat down with him, Mary and Sam.

"Yes" Castiel nodded.  
"And the nightmares?" Mary questioned.

"Getting better" this was not the conversation Castiel wanted to have on valentines day.

"Good" Dean smiled, this time he knew Castiel wasn't lying.

"Great party" came a gruff voice.

"Hey, Bobby" John smiled as his friend, Bobby Singer, "sit."

Bobby took a in-between Castiel and Sam.

"You must be Castiel" Bobby noted, looking at the small boy to his left.

"His shy" Dean smiled sheepishly, nuzzling his forehead into Castiel's.

"I see" Bobby turned back to his food.

Silence hung for awhile. Everyone enjoying their food, Castiel, having finished first waited for everyone else to finish.

"You don't have to wait for us, Castiel" Mary assured him. Castiel shock his head,

"Not hungry, no more"

"Oh. Full?" Dean was confused, a few minutes ago the boy looked like he'd eat the entire table and now he was full on one plate.

"Yes" Castiel nodded.

Silence feel while everyone else swallowed their food. When everyone was full, most of the kids had gone to in the_ 'mini park'_ the Winchesters had in their back yard. Dean was pushing Castiel on the swings. Peacefully, smiling at the boy who would lean his head back and seem so at peace with himself as he watched the clouds. When Castiel did that, he felt like he was flying and it felt good. Finally, growing tiresome of the swing he attempts to get off, only he manages to fall and graze his knee though his pair of jeans.

'Dad is not going to be happy about that' Castiel said to himself. Dean appeared at Castiel's side in a matter of seconds; helping the boy to his feet.

"Mum" he called, "Cas is hurt."

...

"It's just a graze" Mary assured him as she checked it out on the kitchen counter. "You'll be all right. Has it stopped hurting now?"

"Yes" Castiel nodded.

"Don't look so sad, you're a very brave little boy" Mary helped him down and gave him a lolly-pop which Castiel deiced to give to Gabriel as a thanks for always protecting and I love you gift.

"I'm sorry" Dean said.

"It's ok"

"I should have stopped pushing"

"Guess, it's no one's fault" Mary told them, "it's just one of those things that happens. Ok?"

"Yes, mum" Dean's bright eyes beaming at her as she led them back outside.

...

There Gabriel lay. In his bed, his mothers words still replying in his head. '_Never let him forget it wasn't his fault. Never let him forget I love him too. I know you will do anything to keep him safe. Anything.' _Anything? Of corse Gabriel would do anything for Castiel. What did his mum mean by that?

"Gabriel" came a familiar whisper.

"Hey, Cas" he sighed, trying to batter his mothers words aside.

"I got you something" Castiel flicked on the light and threw the lolly-pop on Gabriel's bed.

"Why?"

"To say thank you"

"For what?"  
"For everything" Castiel slid of his clothes and pulled on his pajama's.

"It's ok" Gabriel smiled but still accepted the sweet. There is no way he was gonna pass down free candy.


	10. Chapter 10

**I'm Broken:**

Should I:

"Gabriel, do you think I should tell Dean" Castiel asked one morning while laying in bed.

"Tell him what?"

"About dad, and what he does to us" Castiel knew Gabriel would say no but he always had to ask first.

"No. I don't think you should tell him" Gabriel sighed, "Cas, we almost got taken away once. It's not that I don't want to get out of here, I do but, but, I can't let you go out into the world unprotected."

"He might know a way to keep us together"

"No. No. He won't. Dad didn't know a way, odds are Dean doesn't know a way" Gabriel clicked his knuckles and rolled out of bed, "if you really want I'll take you to the park later, how about that?"

"Yeah, ok" Castiel groaned following his older brothers actions. Maybe Castiel was missing the big picture, maybe there was more to this than pain. Where there is anger there is pain. Castiel shuffled his feet to the kitchen counter and sat down.

"Dad" Gabriel piped up,

"What?"

"I was gonna take Castiel to the park after breakfast, I was wondering if that was ok" Gabriel swolled as he poured Castiel some cereal.

"Do you not like it here? Do you want to leave? You should have told the social worker that. Can you ever get far enough away from me?"

"No. I know that no matter what I do, you'll always be there to drag me back" Gabriel sighed,

"so we're not allowed to go to the park?" Castiel asked.

"No!" There dad shouted spilling Castiel's breakfast down him. "Now clean it up!" Gabriel went to get a cloth, "not you. You are to go into your room and stay there until I say otherwise."

"You're a monster!" Gabriel shouted running into his room and slamming the door behind him.

"Castiel, when you're finished you get in there too!" Their dad shouted. Castiel had already started crying, and it didn't take long for him to run into his room. Everyone else just sat there, just another day at home. followed them into there room, closing the door behind him.

"You think it's ok to talk to your father in the manner that you did?" Their dad asked, coming dangerously close.

"Dad, why are you doing this?" Gabriel asked, his arms holding Castiel.

"He killed your mother, my wife!"

"No. He didn't"

"You're protecting a murderer!"

"Do you think mum would want you to do this? Do you think she blames him? I don't think she'd want you to do this? She'd want you to look after him" Gabriel was crying too. "Dad, please."

"Shut up! It doesn't matter what she wants. She's dead, she can't possibly now how much of his fault her death was!" Mr. Novak threw Gabriel across the room, hitting his head on the wall. He Punched Castiel in the face, causing his nose to break. Then he left the room. Locking them in.

"I guess we're not going to the park today" Castiel cried crawling over to Gabriel.

"Not yet. I promised, we have to go." Gabriel put a hand on the back of his head. It hurt but he didn't think it was bleeding. "Pass me that - pass me a t-shirt out the wardrobe will ya?"

Castiel did as he was asked and passed Gabriel the first thing he saw. To Castiel's surprise Gabriel held the t-shirt over his nose.

"We have to wait for it to stop for it bleeding" Gabriel sighed wiping Castiel's tears away. "It won't hurt much longer. Be brave, Cas. Be brave, just like always. I have to get you to the hospital." Gabriel let Castiel go, "keep your head down ok. Don't put it up." Gabriel started pulling at the locks on the window. He started kicking at it, finally it broke and he was able to get the window open. "Come on." Gabriel helped Castiel out the window and they started looking for a hospital.

"Cas, Gabriel is that you?" Came Mary's voice.

Gabriel turned around.

"Cas" Dean shouted, letting go of his mothers hand to run to his boyfriend. "What happened to you?"

"I - I was just playing. I ran into a tree" Castiel fell into Dean's arms.

"He has to go to a hospital" Mary said, "come on." The Winchester house wasn't that far away and all they had to do was get in the car. "You're not hurt, are you Gabriel?"

"No. I'm fine. Just get him to the hospital" Gabriel said sternly.

"You hit your head" Castiel said as they arrived at the Winchester house.

"Are you ok?" Dean asked his best friend.

"I'll go get him some ice, Dean get them in the car!"

"I'm fine. It's not bleeding. Take care of Cas!" Gabriel shouted jumping into the front seat.

"Ok."

...

"What happened?" asked the doctor.

"He said he ran into a tree" Dean answered, his arm at Castiel's side as they sat in the doctors examination room.

"You weren't there, with him?" the doctor asked.

"No. He was with his older brother but we found the not long after it happened" Dean winced when he watched the doctor drain the blood from Castiel's nose.

"You'll be alright" he said putting a plaster over it, "your very brave." Castiel took the lolly-pop that offered to him and left the room.

"You're so clumsy" Dean smiled at him, kissing his check, "come on. You can come back to our house for some dinner."

"Gabriel. This is for you" Castiel shoved the lolly-pop at his older bother.

"Thank you. Are you alright?" Gabriel asked taking the sweet and opening it.

"I will be. I always am."

"I should have done something"

"There was nothing you could do" Castiel threw his arms around the taller boy.

"Come on, you can have dinner at our house" Mary smiled leading them all outside.

...

"You ok?" Sam asked Gabriel as they walked through his front door.  
"I'm fine!" Gabriel stressed, as he sat on the couch, he started thinking. Something had to be done about this, but what?

"Dean, can I talk to you?" he heard Castiel say.

"Sure" Dean said allowing Castiel to led him into the hallway so they wouldn't be over heard. A few minutes later they came back in.  
"What did you tell him?" Gabriel asked when Cas sat next to him.

"I told him I was worried about you. I asked him to look after you for me" Castiel hung his head, he knew Gabriel constantly said that he didn't need looking after, it was Castiel that needed protection but Castiel was worried about Gabriel he was afraid something bad was going to happen to him or he was going to do something bad. "I want you to be safe."


	11. Chapter 11

**I'm Broken:**

(I almost thought I was going to be able to do this chapter today. My collage teacher had been throwing work at me and it's been keeping me so busy I have no time to do anything else. But I'm glad I got time to do this, so I hope you enjoy it.)

Hunger:

"So this is our new class?" Sam stated as he walked in with Castiel.

"Yeah" Castiel coughed sitting at the back, out of eye sight.

"It's big"

"Yeah" Castiel was already nervous and since their dad fixed the locks on the window, him and Gabriel can't sneak out anymore but luckly, their dad was away again and Micheal just wanted to get rid of them for as long as possabile and would agree to anything that would get them to go away.

"Still staying over tonight?" Sam asked.

"Yeah" Castiel said again. He couldn't stop worrying about Gabriel, he couldn't shake the feeling that Gabriel was either going to do something bad or something bad was going to happen to him, unless it was both. What was Gabriel going to do? Was he going to be ok?

...

"Are they ok, do you think?" Gabriel asked, his head turned to face the door.

"I'm sure they're fine, they are. Ok" Dean gave his best frineda reassuring pat on the back as they turned to face the teacher.

"Right, class" she said. He voice was loud and perky, both boys exchanged looks. _'Oh, it's going be this kind of class, ok.' _

"Today" she contuied, "we will be doing a introduction exercise. I want everyone to stand up. Come on, everybody stand up, that's right, well done."

"She's annoying, she is" Gabriel whispered.

"On 3 everyone has to say their name ok. 1,2...3"

(Everyone speaking at the same time)

"Ok. See, isn't it hard to understand people when everyone else is talking. That, boys and girls is why you don't speak when the teacher is speaking" she announced taking her seat, "ok. You can all sit down now. I'll start, my name is Mrs. Queen." She looked around the room, wondering who to volenter to speak next when she noticed Dean and Gabriel were talking. "Yes, you" she pointed at Dean, "Tell us your name and if you have any brothers or sisters."

"Dean Winchester and I have a brother, his name's Samuel but we call him Sam" Dean nodded.

"Choose someone to go next"

"Gabriel" Dean said quikley.

"Why did you choose me? I'm Gabriel Novak. I have a younger brother Castiel but I call him Cassie, Dean calls him Cas-"

"So, you two know each other?" Mr. Queen asked.

"Yes. Dean is my Cassie's boyfriend" Gabriel nodded, after the laughter and whispering dyed down he carry on talking. "my older brother, Balthazar, older sister Anna, older brother Uriel, older brother Ralpheal, older brother Lucifer and older brother Micheal."

...

Finally everyone had been introduced and the class was silent again.

"What wrong with me being Cas's boyfriend?" Dean whispered to Gabriel.

"Don't know" Gabriel shrugged it off. It's not like it's any different to the other kids mums and dad. Only Dean and Cas were younger and they were both guys, but what was the difference, the we're still in love.

"Ok" Mrs. Queen cleared her throat, "there are a few rules that need to be layed out. 1- No doodleing in the books. 2- No talking when I'm talking or someone else is speaking aloud to you. 3- No phones, games or music players in the class room. 4- No eating. 5- No eating. Ok, so Dean, Gabriel since you guys are close to the book haveing kindly seated yourself at the back by the shelf, would you please give them out for me please. One each." With a moan and a groan Dean and Gabriel got up to hand out the books. Finally they sat down with their own and wrote what they were told to. Their name, the teachers name, the class number. E2MAQ. _'Elemtary. Year Two. Mrs. Ababadon Queen.' _

They turned to the first page and started writing their work down.

...

"How was class?" Dean asked when him and Gabriel walked out noticing Sam and Castiel had already left.

"Good" Castiel smiled as Dean took him in his arms.

"Good, that's good" Dean smiled kissing his boyfriends nose. Everyone had stopped to stare. Two boys kissing? That was something none of them had seen before.

"What are you guys staring at?" Dean shouted at them as he looked up. Everyone suddenly looked away. Castiel smiled at his boyfreind. Dean knew that staring made Castiel feel uncomforatble, since he was used to being ingorned being stared at freaked him out. They walked over to the table Gabriel and Dean would sit at every break and lunch.

"I missed you Cas" Dean said quitley as they sat down. "You know at school."

"I missed you too" Castiel smiled laying his head on Dean's shoulder and Dean's arm snaked around his waist. Gabriel smiled at them. He was happy for his little brother, Castiel was actually happy and that was a big deal, as long as Castiel was happy that was all that mattered to Gabriel.

"We're going to have alot of fun when you come over after school" Dean said after a few minutes of silence. "I don't know where you'll be sleeping though, I don't."

...

"Come on boys, it's home time" came Mary Winchester's voice from the car.

"Coming mum" Dean shouted as he climbed into the car Castiel behind him.

"Mum, what's for dinner?" Sam whinned.

"Are you hungry?" Mary asked him kindly.

"Yes" Sam pouted. "Dean made me give half of my lunch to Gabriel."

"He didn't have any food, I gave mine to Cas" Dean argued.

"All of it?" Mary asked.

"Half of it" Dean replied.

"That was very sweet of you, I'll cook as soon as we get back if everyones hungry" Mary promised as they stopped at the red light.

"Good, I'm starving" Gabriel replied.

"Me too" Castiel agreed with a nod.

"Alright then. How does... Pie sound to you?"

"Good" Dean shouted as he lent his head against Castiel's.

...

"John" Mary called when she walked in. "John" she said again as he peered round the corner of the kitchen, "hey" she smiled walking over to him adn recieving a kiss on the check. "We gotta start cooking now because everyones hungry."  
"Ok, ok. Why don't you boys watch some t.v we'll make food" John pulled Mary into the kitchen so they could start cooking. "Where will Cas and Gabriel be sleeping tonight?"

"Uh - I was gonna put Gabriel in with Sam and have Cas on Dean's bottom bunk bed" Mary confessed.  
"Sam and Gabriel won't share!" John reminded her, "but it doesn't seem fair to have Cas and Dean sleep in separate rooms."

"How about, Dean and Cas sleep on the pull out couch and Gabriel sleeps in Deans bed?" Mary suggested.

"That should be alright" John shurrged. Because they were only little and still didn't know how babies were made there was nothing they could do but talk and sleep.

"What should we put on?" Dean asked looking over the DVD's.

"Bugs bunny" Castiel demanded. "Bunny!"

"No" Gabriel moaned. "Let Sam pick. He never gets to choose."

"You want to choose, you've never said that before" Sam crossed his arms.

"I'll choose then!" Gabriel stropped and picked a harry potter dvd of the shelf and handed it to Dean.

"Harry Potter?" Sam raised an eyebrow, "I like those movies."

"Potter, Potter" Castiel started cheering as Dean sat next to him on the couch again and pressed the play button before his arm too it's defualt posistion at Cas's waist.

...

"Oh Dean" Mary said when they were sitting around the dinner table. "You can Castiel will be sharing the couch bed tonight. Gabriel will be in you're room."

"Ok, Mum" Dean nodded and watched as Castiel and Gabriel shoveled the food into their mouths. Food hadn't tasted like this since - well forever. Since Gabriel was only 1 when his mum died he didn't really eat a lot of real food and Castiel never tried his mum cooking, their dad...not a good cook and there wasn't even that much food to eat. Plus Micheal made them skip breakfast today and didn't give them a lunch. Soon they both put their knives and forks down and pushed their clean plates away.

"Was that nice?" Mary asked in amazment.

"Yes, thank you" Gabriel smiled.

"You're welcome. What have you eaten today, besides, you know. Half of Sam's lunch?"

There was silence.

"You did eat breakfast, didn;t you?" John wondered.

Again there was silence.

"Wow, I guess it's a good thing Mary can cook" John joked taking out the plates. Dean looked sadly at Castiel, Cas didn't tell him that he'd missed breakfast. What else was he not being told?

...

"You didn't eat breakfast" Dean said while they were laying in bed that night.

"No" Castiel's voice was plain as if it didn't bother him at all, sure it did but he was so used to mising meals that it no longer mattered.

"Why?"

"We we're late" Castiel said. They were but that's because Lucifer broke thier alarm and Micheal didn't wake them until it was 5 minutes till Mary arrived to come and get them so there was no time to eat.

"Ok. Eat breakfast tomorrow" Dean kissed the top of Castiel's head, "sleep now."

"I love you" Castiel said.

"I love you more"

"I love you most"

"That's imposable. Night."

"Night" Castiel closed his eyes and quickly drifted of to sleep.

He couldn't remember much of his nightmare. He remember Gabriel and his dad, Gabriel was holding a hand gun and pointing it at their dad. Their dad was calling him a coward and the next thing he remember there was a gun shot and he woke up sweating and screaming.

"What's the matter?" Dean asked concerned.

"Nightmare" Castiel stuttered.

"About what? Monsters again?"

"No" Castiel said looking up as everyone else came charging down the stairs. "You killed dad" he said looking at Gabriel.

"What?" Gabriel shouted, "I wouldn't-"

"He had a nightmare" Dean said, rubbing Castiel's back, "go back to sleep. You're dad gonna be fine."

"I hope not" Gabriel whispered to himself and he walked back up to Dean's room. He laid there, he still hadn't forgetten what his mum said. 'Anything.' Then Castiel acusses him of killing there dad. Is that what their mum meant?


	12. Chapter 12

**I'm Broken:**

(I was going to make you guys wait longer for another chapter but, I love you all to much and I really couldn't wait to get this chapter done. The next few chapters are going to be a ride so hold on tight.)

Happy Birthday, Cas:

"Hey, Dean" Gabriel said they started walking away from their brothers. "It's Castiel's birthday tomorrow and-"

"Why didn't he tell me?"

"Cassie's birthday, is - we don't really - It's not a happy day" Gabriel mentioned "our mum died on that day and Dad won't forget it. On Cas's birthday, it's all we think about."

"I won't be going for your mum" Dean said strenly.

"I don't want you to go for mum. I want you to go for Castiel!" Gabriel asured him.

"Ok. I'll be there" Dean promised.

"Don't tell Castiel. It's a surprise"

"Ok."

...

So Dean got Castiel a preasnt and told his mum to keep hold of it until the end of school. John and Mary also brought Castiel a presnt, not wanting Gabriel to be left out they got him one too and they bought Castiel one from Sam too, and all of this Castiel was obvous to until he got in the Winchesters car. Dean told John and Mary that Castiel and Gabriel didn't have any toys or anything else to play with so they bought him some and they got Gabriel one too.

"Hey Castiel" Mary said as he climbed in, "happy birthday" she took three prestents off the shotgun seat and handed them to him. Castiel felt like he was going to cry, Gabriel had been the only one who ever got him prestents on his birthday and Gabriel never got them honestly. Since their dad didn't give him money to buy things Gabriel, would make things out of junk he found laying around. He knew Castiel deserved prestents, after everything he'd been through. Castiel would draw pictures of him and Gabriel every year and for a kid he wasn't that bad.

"Thank you" Castiel said his voice shakin.

"It's ok. Open them when you get to your house, so everyone else can see you open them, Dean will just tell us what you thought when I pick him up later" Mary explained.

Castiel looked at Dean,

"I asked to come over tonight. Thank Gabriel, it was his idea" Dean smiled and kissed his boyfriends lips.

"Thank you Gabriel" Castiel sniffed trying to dry his eyes.

"Ok, you guys have a good time now, play safe. You have my number just incase you need anything" Mary pulled up outside their house and half heartly watched the boys walk towards the door.

Anna opened it and was she surprised to see Dean there.

"What are you doing here?" she asked turnin up her nose.

"Winchester" Mr. Novak said noticing him. "What are you doing here?"

"It's Cas's birthday" Dean mentioned.

"Is it, I must have forgotten"

"Lair" Gabriel spat out bitterly leading his brother and best friend into their room.

"Come back in 5 minutes it almost time to honer your mother in silence" their dad ordered.  
"Yes sir" Castiel said squezzing Dean's hand so tight it almost broke. His birthday was never a good day for him, his beatings always seemed to get worse.

"Open your presnts Cas" Gabriel begged, he was dying to see what Castiel had gotton and when he was sure Castiel wasn't looking he slipped a hand under his bed and pulled out a book. "I didn't get time to wrap it. Sorry" Gabriel handed it to him. "You said you wanted to start writting." Castiel smiled and pulled his older brother into a hug.

"Thank you" he cried.

"Your welcome" Gabriel wiped his brothers eyes when he pulled away, seeing Castiel cry made both the other boys start to cry.

Castiel took the car attacted to the first well wrapped prestent.

_'To Castiel, _

_I hope you enjoy this. _

_Love Mary and John _

_Xx'_

"Your mum and dad got me a gift" Castiel said with tears running down his cheeks.

"Yeah" Dean nodded.

Castiel ripped off the red wraping paper and his mouth fell open. It was a colouring book and some pencils. Dean squezzed Castiel with the arm that was around his waist. Castiel picked up the next present. This one was wrapped in blue.

_'To Castiel, _

_Happy Birthday. _

_Love Sam _

_X'_

"Sam got me a gift?" Castiel cried again. As he tore the paper off a box contain binoculars were revlied.

"This ones from you" Castiel asked picking up the next one.

"Yeah and the next ones from all of us to Gabriel" Dean smiled at his best friend. Who was also crying now. Castiel opened the present and took hold of the pure white stone that was underneath it. On it was two perfectly made angel wings and engraved on it was,

'Stay strong my little angel.

I love you and I'll be with you.

Dean xxx'

Castiel threw himself at Dean.

"Thank you" he whispered. "I love you."

"I love you more"

"I love you most"

"That impossbale" Dean kissed his check and surported him before drying his eyes. Castiel put the stone on his bedside table, then thought better of it and put it in his draw thinking if his dad spots it, it'll be broken. Then he passed Gabriel the one that was adressed to him.

'Dear Gabriel,

we know you always look after Castiel

and we know something is wrong over there.

We are proud of you.

Love John, Mary, Dean and Sam xx'

Gabriel sniffed and wiped his eyes before pulling of the green paper too look at what it covered. It was a few toy cars inside. Dean and Castiel walked over to Gabriel and held him tightly, together they all cried. Dean had no idea how much all this meant to the two Novak boys.

"Happy birthday Cassie" Gabriel whispered as he separated from his younger brother and his best friend. "We - we best go and join the silence."

...

All the Novak's and Dean sat in a circle. Mr. Novak, Lucifer, Micheal, Ralpheal, Uriel, Balthazar, Anna, Gabriel, Dean and then Castiel.

"Join hands" Mr. Novak ordered, now we sit in silence. The silence lasted for 10 minutes and it was awkward. Finaly they broke apart and they had Debbie's (Mrs. Novak) favorite dinner. Then Dean went home, Castiel kindly walking him to the car while Gabriel laid in bed.

"Bye Cas" Dean smiled as they walked to the car.

"Thank you for coming" Castiel returned his smile.

"Your welcome"

"Thank you the presents. You too Mary" Castiel said.

"Your welcome, sweetie" Mary nodded,

"Is it ok, if I hug you?" Castiel asked shyly.

"Sure" Mary agreed getting out the car and took the boy in her arms. "Happy birthday."

"Thank you" Castiel pushed himself back. "I have to go. Thank you - for everything." He kissed Dean goodbye and ran back towards the house. "Just get it over with" he begged when his dad came around the corner.

"Oh no. You brough Dean over, I'm going to take my time" his dad said with a devils smile.

...

Castiel stumbled back into his room. He hurt head to toe, flicking the light off as he entered in the pair of underwear his dad threw at him.

"That does it" Gabriel shouted charging out of the room,

"Gabriel what are you doing?" Castiel asked.

"Just stay in here, I'll be back soon" Gabriel ordered. "Promise me, you'll stay here!"

"I promise" Castiel said.

"I'll be back soon." Gabriel ran into his dads room, banging the door open. "Castiel didn't even know Dean was coming over today!" He shouted. "I asked him to come, that was my fault, not Cas's. Take it out on me and stop blaming him for things he didn't do!"

"Are you going to take his place?" His dad asked.

"Yes!"

...

A few hours later Gabriel came walking into the room again. The light was already off but he crawled under the covers and cried. He wasn't strong anymore and he hated himself for crying infront of Castiel but he couldn't help it anymore. No matter how long it took, he was going to put an end to this, once and for all. Castiel crawled into bed next to him.

"I'm sorry" Castiel whispered.

"It's not your fault. None of this is" Gabriel said wrapping his arms around Cas as they cried each other to sleep.

...

"How was it" John asked when Dean and Mary walked through the door.

"Did he like the presents, what about Gabriel?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, they loved them. They cried tears of joy" Dean feel into the chair.

"Really?" Sam sat next to him.

"What else did they get?" John asked sipping his beer.  
"Gabriel got him a book" Dean said.

"Thats it" Mary added.

"What?" John was dumbfounded.

"Yeah."

"Gabriel, I'd never seen him like that before" he turned to Sam, "remember when he threated to beat you up?"

"Yeah" Sam sighed.

"He was worse than that" Dean mentioned.


	13. Chapter 13

**I'm Broken:**

(Is it vain of me to say I am in love with this story? Because, I am)

Gabriel, whats wrong:

Gabriel had been acting really wired since their dad went away. He'd been going to the library and he hadn't spoken to Castiel in a few days either. He'd been spending time away from Sam and Dean and Cas at break and lunch, he hasn't been doing his work and Castiel was getting worried about him. Every time he asked what was wrong Gabriel would just tell him to go away. Castiel felt unwanted, was Gabriel getting tired of protecting him? Was Gabriel going to runaway? Was Gabriel in trouble? Castiel was really worried about him. Gabriel wanted to tell Castiel what he was doing but he was afraid, there was an angel on one shoulder telling him it was wrong and the devil on the other telling him it was right and he couldn't deiced which one to listen too. It was wrong, it was most defently wrong but it was right at the same time because it was going to save Castiel and him so it had to be done. He promised his mum that he would protect Castiel no matter what that meant so he had to do it.

Castiel was sitting on the couch having recently been kicked out of his room which Gabriel was now sitting in. Castiel was upset and bored and he wanted to talk to someone. He couldn't talk to Gabriel, he couldn't talk to his family and there was no way he'd talk to his dad, even if he was there. What about Dean, or Mary, or John, maybe even Sam? Castiel pulled the stool out from under the sink and dial the Winchesters number.

"Hello?" came Mary's soft voice.

"Mary?"

"Cas, is that you. What's the matter sweetie?"

"I need to talk" Castiel stuttered, "is that, ok?"

"Yeah, of corse. I'll be over soon, I'll beep when I get there" Mary knew something was wrong, she had to go and get him. He clearly needed someone right now.

"Thank you."

"Don't sweat it. See you soon ok?"

"Yeah"

"Will I need to bring tissues?"

"Yeah" Castiel sniffed, "bye." He hung before she said anything.

...

"Dean" Mary called from the bottom of the stairs, "I'm going to get Cas, wanna come?"

"Yeah" Dean shouted back almost jumping the entire set of stairs.

"Get your shoes on" Mary ordered "and be prepared, he didn't seem happy."

"Did he say what was wrong" John asked kissing her goodbye.

"No. I'm gonna go get him now and I'll get back to you guys later" Mary walked Dean to the car and started driving to the Novak household.

...

"Hi Cas" Dean smiled running to him as Castiel stepped outside the door.

"Dean" Castiel cried as Dean took the boy in his arms.

"It's ok. Come on" Dean led his boyfriend into the car and sat next to. Arm around his waist, Castiel's head on his shoulder. Whatever or who ever it was that made Castiel cry like this is gonna pay.

The car ride was mostly silent besides Castiel sniff's and sobs Dean was just holding him, he couldn't do much else. The feeling of Castiel being hurt made Dean's blood boil, seeing him sad made him cry it was terrible. Mary glanced in her rear view mirror and smiled at her sons naturing nature.

...

"Come in and calm down" Dean insturcted leading Castiel into his house.

"Oh god" John said as he watched Dean help Castiel onto the couch.

"Bugs bunny?" Sam suggested changing the channels.

"Take your time, calm down" Mary soothed graping a box of tissues from the coffee table. Dean craddeled Castiel's head and hushed him with a kiss on his forehead. It was a few minutes before Castiel finally started to calm down.

"It's Gabriel" Castiel coughed. His head was hurting and his eyes were stinging.

"Is he ok?" Mary asked him walking in with a hot chocolate and handing it to him.

"No" Castiel's voice was shaking and he looked like he was about to cry again.

"What's wrong with him?" Sam suddenly got all concerned, he didn't like Gabriel, no of corse not but he was nosy. That was it. He just wanted to get into others peoples business. Gabriel had nothing to do with it.

"I don't know. He won't - he won't tell me" Castiel wiped his eyes with a tissue and buried his head in his hands.

"What does he do or say?" John asked him.

"He tells me to go away when he sees me at bed time he won't talk to me, he never wants to talk to me or see me. I think I upset him" Castiel sobbed.

"What would you do to upset him?" Dean had tears forming in his eyes as he dried Castiel's eyes.

"... I don't know" Castiel sighed after remembering that he couldn't tell them what he thought he'd done.

"Ok. Well, we'll drop you home at 6. You go home and get some rest, you can stay here till then" Mary smiled at him warmly and he threw himself at her. "It's ok" she whispered.

Mary was the closest thing Castiel had to a mother and John was the closest thing he had to a real father. A dad is meant to be a sons first hero and a daughters first love but Mr. Novak was never a hero to Castiel and he never will be.

"Thank you" Castiel wiped his eyes as he pulled away.

"It's ok" Mary assured him.

"Is it ok it I - hug you, too?" Castiel turned to John.

"Sure" John nodded and let Castiel put his arms around him. It was clear at that moment how damaged the boy was and it broke every ones heart.

...

When Castiel got home Gabriel wasn't their. Micheal told Castiel to go to bed and he'd deal with Gabriel when he got back.

"It's only me kid" he whispered as he closed the bedroom door. "I know I haven't been very nice, lately and I'm sorry. I was just - there was something I needed to do. It's done now and I hope you can forgive me one day" Gabriel threw on his pajamas and got into his bed, he was so tired he went straight to sleep.

Castiel stayed awake for a few minutes thinking, what had Gabriel just done? Was he in trouble?


	14. Chapter 14

**I'm Broken:**

(I know everyone wants to know what Gabriel was up to but I'm a mean person and you'll just have to wait for a few more chapters)

Daddy, please don't come home:

It was just a normal school day. There were lessons and there were laughs and smiled, Sam and Gabriel got told off for fighting, there were a few nasty looks in Dean and Castiel's direction, there were a few whisper's, a few teachers shouting. By lunch time everyone was sick of it. Sam and Gabriel weren't allowed to sit together so Castiel and Gabriel sat on one side and Dean and Sam were on the other. Gabriel and Sam were kicking each other under the table. Dean passed Castiel a bag of chips.

"No" Castiel pushed them away and looked at Gabriel who seems to have just zoned out.

"You need to eat" Dean ordered throwing the packet at him.

"Ok" Castiel gave Sam a knowing look. Sam knew that meant he had to give some of his lunch to Gabriel and he knew if he said no Dean would do it for him so Sam had to.

"Thank" Gabriel sighed.

"Are you... Ok?" Dean wondered looking at him.

"Fine" Gabriel breathed deeply. He was clearly nervous, he had been ever since he started acting strange but since he apolaigzed to Cas he'd been even more nervous. No one could figure out why, if they asked he would just say, 'I'm fine' even though it was clearly a lie.

The next few minutes were just plain silence. No one spoke. Just a few knowing looks got passed around,

"Ow" Sam said when Gabriel kicked him. "GABRIEL!"

"Sorry, Sammy. It was an accident" Gabriel apolaigzed sarcastically.

"Liar" Sam spat out, pulling his legs onto the seat and sitting on them.

Silence feel again. Eyes moving from face to face, to the floor, to the sky. Suddenly there was a voice from the speakers,

"Can Gabriel and Castiel Novak please report the principles office, that Gabriel and Castiel Novak to the principles office, thank you."

"What if it's dad?" fear flooded Castiel's face.

"It's not" Gabriel's voice was so sure and he didn't seem scared at all.  
"How do you know?"

"It's just a feeling. Come on."

Gabriel walked Castiel to the headmasters office, he had to keep his brother calm because he was so scared it was their father, when Gabriel, knew for a fact it wasn't. It could have been Micheal or Lucifer but theres no way it was their dad. It was impossabile and Gabriel knew it was.

When the opened the door to the headmasters office they saw Micheal sitting in the chair.

"Gabriel, Castiel" he said. "Lucifer has gone to get the others, I'm here to take you home. Dad's gone missing."

...

When they got back to the house the police men were already there. Castiel held Gabriel's hand as tight as he could manage, he was scared. What were they going to ask?

"We'll have to talk to all the children alone" the police women said, "I'll talk to the girl now, she might more comfortable talking to a women."  
"Doubt it she hasn't interacted with a women since she was 5" Micheal answered.

"I'll talk to her regardless, we have regulations" she said leading Anna into her room.

"I'll talk to you then" the last standing officer said turning to Castiel.

"Is it ok, if I go in with you? He's rather shy" Gabriel begged, Castiel was already in a bad state, talking to a police officer alone will only make it worse.

"Ok, but just this once" the police man hurried them into there room.

"Did your father tell you where he was going?"

"He said he was going to the freedom motel" Gabriel remembered his arms around his little brother.

"No he didn't" Castiel spoke up.

"Yes he did" Gabriel said, "don't you remember?"

"No" Castiel shock his head.

"Ok. Was your dad involved in anything, new friends? New job?"

"I don't know, he doesn't talk to us much"

"Ok. Any strange people hanging about lately?"

"Uh - the ice cream man" Gabriel thought. "He never used to come round."  
"But he has round about the time your dad left?"

"Yeah."

"Ok. Thank you" the police man excused them and allowed the others to come in, one by one.

It was then that Gabriel deiced to call Mary, he had to share the news. Castiel thought Gabriel was too happy to hear their dad was missing. He had to know something, something he wasn't telling anyone.

"Mary?"

"What's the matter?" Mary asked.

"There's something me and Cas want to tell you" Gabriel was trying not to sound pleased with himself.

"Ok, I'll be right there" Mary said hanging up. What was going on?

"Mary's coming" Gabriel said.

"You're not going out! Not with all this business going on" Micheal shouted.

"You're not out dad" Gabriel shouted tying Cas's shoe laces.

...

"You're dad's missing?" John asked when everyone was sitting down.

"Yes" Gabriel was getting better at not looking pleased with himself. "I thought you should know. You're like a mother to me and Cas, as you are a father."

"Thank you but, does anyone know anything of him?" Mary was looking at Castiel. Cas was clearly upset, Gabriel looked more... What was the word? Like he was trying to hide how he really felt about the situation. As if he was trying to look upset but was failing at it.

"No" Gabriel sighed, "no one knows anything."

"You don't seem very... Upset" Sam crossed his arms.

"Sammy" John snapped, "that wasn't very nice."

"Sorry" Sam screwed up his face.

"I thought you should know" Gabriel cleared his throat, "Cas was upset. I thought - seeing Dean might make him better."

"Did you wanna stay for dinner?" Mary asked her smile so warm and so soft.

"If that's ok?"

"Thats fine."

...

Gabriel and Castiel were laying in bed in silence. Nether one asleep yet they weren't quite awake. Gabriel was nervous and thinking things over in his head. Castiel was trying to gain the courage to say what he wanted to say.  
"You had something to do with this - didn't you?" he finally asked.

"No. Of corse not. I couldn't. Why?" Gabriel said that to quickly for Castiel's liking.

"I think you did. I do" Castiel turned over and slept but Gabriel stayed awake all night. Great, Castiel was catching on.


	15. Chapter 15

**I'm Broken:**

(I'm not saying he did, but if Gabriel did kill his dad - would it be a good thing or a bad thing? Since doing it would have saved Castiel... Let me know what you think)

Wickeds mans rest:

"I'm proud of you baby" came the voice of their mother.

"Mum?" Gabriel sat up in bed, "you can't be here." Last time Gabriel saw her, she made him do something bad.

"You saved Cas, you did a good thing, you just - can't tell him it was you" his mum knelled by his bed.

"It was bad. It was very very bad" Gabriel cried. "You have to go."

"I am proud of you" she disappeared and Gabriel woke up. It had been many days since their father vanished and no one knew where he was. Gabriel had been so emotional and on edge latley Castiel was worried about him. Gabriel wanted to talk to someone but he couldn't tell Castiel and he didn't know who else to tell. In the end he deiced that before he did anything he had to get rid of all these dreams and visions of his mum. How would he do that?

"Cassie" He whispered, "time to get up."

Cas moaned but awoke from his sleep and looked at his brother,

"Good morning" he sighed.

"Morning. Get up" Gabriel ordered, looking around to make sure there was no sign of his mum he threw the covers off of him and got up. He was just stressed, that was it. Now that the problem was gone he should get better, but he needed to talk to someone. Who did he trust? Someone old enough to do something? Mary and John. Ok, but what was he going to say?

"Gabriel, what's the matter?" Castiel asked as he rolled out of bed. "Are you afraid dad will come back? I am."

"No. I - I'm just... Stressed" Gabriel said, "Want to see Dean today?"

"Yeah. Ok" Castiel was confused. Gabriel never asked, Cas always did but he wasn't going to say no.

...

They walked to the Winchster house in silence and knocked on the door at the same time.

"Dean, can you get the door please, sweeties?" Came Mary's voice.

"Cas" Dean said as he opened the door, "Gabriel."

"Hi" Gabriel waved looking around to make sure his mum wasn't around.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked Gabe as he pulled Castiel into a hug.

"Nothing, nothing. Go and play with Castiel outside" Gabriel ordered stepping into the house.

"Gabe, Cas" John said as they walked in.

"Hi" Gabriel looked around the room and eventally sat down on the empty arm chair.

"You want to come play outside?" Dean looked at Cas and led him outside.

"You ok?" Mary asked exiting the kitchen and looking at a very distressed Gabriel on the arm chair.

"Stressed" he said.

"Stressed about what?"

"I keep seeing my mum" Gabriel whispered, not wanting to be overheard by anyone.

"Your mum?" Mary repeated, taking a breath, "I thought she was dead."

"She is" Gabriel nodded, "but - my dad, his missing and it might be her fault. My mum she, she tells me to do things to him. My dad is, he hits me and Cas."

"What did you do?"

"I didn't do it. Mum did. I need help" Gabriel was crying now and it was obvoius something had to be done.

...

"What appears to be the problem?" Asked a doctor.

"I have a 7 year old with schizphrenia" Mary answered. "Gabriel, you want to tell the man whats going on?"

"I keep seeing my mum" Gabriel sighed, "she's been dead for 6 years."

"Right" The doctor nodded writing something down in his notebook. "How often does she appear?"

"I don't know"

"What does she do?"

"She tells me that she misses me, that she's proud and she loves me" Gabriel nodded.

"Ok. First of all, I'm going to give you a prescription and he has to take it everyday. After every meal. Get back to me in two weeks" the doctor said.

"Ok. Thank you" Mary smiled taking Gabriel's hand and leading him away. "You're gonna be ok now" Mary said when they got in the car. "You just take those, three times a day and you'll be better in no time. About your dad, was he really, hitting you and Cas?"

"Yes"

"Ok. You need to be aware that you're not a bad kid. You did what you had to do to protect your brother, I am proud of you for that but there should have been a better way" Mary sighed. "You've been through a lot and I can forgive you for what you did and I'm proud of you for owning up to it. Does Cas know?"

"No"

"You have to tell him. I know your mum told you not to but that's too bad."

As they turned the corner to the street Gabriel and Castiel lived on they saw flashing, white blue and red lights and a police car.

"Cas" Gabriel shouted running over to him, "what happened?"

"Dad's dead" Cas cried and threw his arms around his older brother.

Mary looked at Gabriel and drove away.

"Where we're you?" Castiel asked.

"I was at the doctors. I'm sick" Gabriel replied, tears streaming down his face.


	16. Chapter 16

**I'm Broken:**

Ashes to ashes:

So today was the day. It was their dads funeral and everyone had, so far, said nice things about Mr. Novak. Gabriel was just begging to reliese what he had done. Sure Mr. Novak was a lying, abusive scumbag but to other people he was a friend, a son and a college. Castiel was currently curled up on Dean's lap. Dean had agreed to go because Castiel refused to go without him and Dean refused go without Sam because he thought Mary and John needed more time together. Gabriel still hadn't told anyone but Mary and Mary had prorely told John by now but it wasn't Gabriel's fault, not really. He was getting help now. The doctor had said he was able to come of his medication and he was doing well. He hadn't seen his mum in months. He was free to forget. Then as everything registered in his mind he ran out crying. Dean turned to Sam,

"check on him"

"What?"

"I'm busy. Please?"

Sam rolled his eyes, huffed and puffed but eventually gave in and walked out after Gabriel. Dean focused all his attenetion on the crying Castiel on his lap.

"Gabriel" Sam shouted as he stepped out the church doors. Gabriel was sitting there, leaning against the wall, head in his shaking hands. "Are you... Ok?" Gabriel didn't answer.

"Don't touch me" Gabriel sobbed as Sam put a hand on his shoulder, knelling down in front of him. "I just - I hurt everything I touch."

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked moving next to him.

"I - I'm the reason we're here today" Gabriel looked up at Sam, tears running down his face. His eyes red and the pain he felt was o visible it was cutting into Sam's heart. The ran was pouring down and for a while all Sam could do was stare at him. Trying to process what Gabriel had just said. Sam didn't want to touch Gabriel again, he never did in the first place but Dean wanted him too look after Gabriel so, he kind of had to. For a while they just sat there in silence, Sam hand awkwardly resting on Gabriel's shoulder while he cried in his dispear. They were both soaked but they refused to move.  
"What do you mean?" Sam asked at last breaking the silence.

"I - I killed my own father" Gabriel pushed Sam away again. "You're better off without me. You all are." He buried his face in his hands again. Sam backed up a bit. Was Gabriel being serous? Really?

"Are you sure? You're not - joking?"

"I was there. I did it." Sam ran back into the church and took his seat, he was soaking wet and everyone stopped at started at him as he gave an apologetic wave and sat back down.

"Is he ok?" Dean whispered to Sam as he stroked Castiel's back.

"No" Sam answered. "Dean, theres something seriously wrong with him."

"I asked you too look after him" Dean ordered. "Get back out there!"

"You don't know what he did"

"I don't care. Gabriel's my friend, right now he needs you to be his friend to. Get back out there. I'm not asking you" Dean's eyes were full of rage, Sam was afraid to say no so he walked back out.

"Gabriel" he shouted standing in front of him hands on his hips. "Get up!" Gabriel didn't move he just contuied sobbing. "You can't cry over this! You just said it was your fault!"

"I tried to stop" Gabriel whispered in a shaking voice. "I tried. So hard, she - she wouldn't let me stop"  
"Who" Sam was tired of Gabriel's lies.

"My mum"

"She's dead, Gabriel. Did you kill her too?"

"No. I didn't. I didn't kill her, she killed my dad, she - she made me kill dad" Gabriel looked up at Sam, it was clear he was sorry for what he did but Sam wasn't buying it. "I tried to stop but it was too late. When I knew what was happening, it was already done. I'm sorry."

"Sorry won't fix it" Sam was crying now too, he knew Gabriel was evil but he didn't think he was that bad. "You have to get in there and face what you did. This is your fault and the best you can do, is take it like a man!" Sam pulled Gabriel up and shoved him towards the door, "your going to get in there and your going to be there for Cas. Later on, your gonna tell him everything you told me!" Sam dragged him back over to his seat and pushed him in it. "You're gonna sit there, and put up with the mess you made." Sam ordered. Gabriel was slightly taken a-back. Sam was really going for it. Gabriel knew he deserved it and he was lucky Sam didn't do any worse, but he had a feeling Sam would at some point. Gabriel put a hand on Castiel's shoulder and said,

"I have to tell you something later" Gabriel was nervous about doing it. Can't blame, think about having to tell your 6 year old brother that you kill your dad but it wasn't your fault because your dead mum told you too... You'd be nervous too, and if you said you wouldn't be. You're lying.

...

"I can't" Gabriel whispered.  
"Yes you can and you will. If you don't - Gabriel - if you don't, I will" Sam replied his arms crossed. "Now do it!"

"I - Ow" Gabriel put a hand on his leg where Sam just kicked him. "That hurt!"

"Tell him!"

"I can't - hey, stop that"

"Then tell him."

"Fine" Gabriel shouted, walking over to the couch in the Novak household where Castiel was sitting talking to Dean.

"Cas, told me about what your dad did. Thank you for looking after him" Dean smiled at Gabriel as he walked over.

"Can I talk to him - alone?" Gabriel was still nervous, it was obvious and it worried Castiel as to what Gabriel had to say.

"Cas, I" Gabriel began as Dean walked away. "It's my fault that Dad's dead but - mum told me to do it. Believe me, I tried to stop. I was too late, I'd already shot him - ow. I deserved that." Gabriel sighed as Castiel slapped him. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry won't fix it" Castiel shouted running into his bedroom he started packing his bags.

"What's the matter?" Dean asked letting himself in, "going somewhere?"

"I'm staying with you for a while"

"Why?"


	17. Chapter 17

**I'm Broken:**

Panic:

Castiel hadn't been home in days, he hadn't even spoken to Gabriel. Cas told Dean what Gabriel did and Dean looked, happy about it.

"If he was hitting you" Dean said, "Gabriel did good." Sam hadn't spoken to him either but there was nothing unusual about that.

"It's time to wake up boys" came Johns voice from around the door. "Time to get ready for school."

Both boys moaned and groaned but eventually got up out Dean's bunk beds (Dean on top, Cas on bottom.)

"Morning" Dean climbed down the ladder and smiled at Castiel who was rubbing his eyes.

"Morning" Castiel groaned back at him as Dean took him into his arms for a morning hug.

"Breakfast?"

"Gabriel used to make me breakfast" Castiel sniffed.

"You have to have breakfast" Dean said sternly, "forgive Gabriel already? He was protecting you."

"He did a bad thing" Castiel whispered following Dean out the door and down the stairs.

"You need to forgive Gabriel too" Dean said to Sam.

"He did a bad thing" Sam shrugged.

"It wasn't his fault" Mary said kindly to the boys in her kitchen.

"I'm off. Bye" John called dashing in.

"Bye, have a good day" Mary kissed her husband goodbye.

"Bye dad" said Dean as John hugged him.

"Bye dad" Said Sam as John hugged him too.

"Bye John" Castiel sighed and John ruffled his hair a little.

"What do you want for breakfast Cas?" Mary smiled at the thoughtful boy warmly.

"Sherrdies" Castiel said timidly taking a seat at the breakfast bar.

"Coming right up. Dean?"

"Whatever Cas is having" Dean waved a hand in the air and turned to his younger brother. "When did you find out what Gabriel did?"

"He told me at his dads funeral, when he ran out crying" Sam answered not really wanting to talk about it.

"Well I think he did a good thing"

"Why?" Mary questioned putting two bowls on the conter. "Killing isn't good. Is it?"

"No but - but he saved Cas and himself. He had no choice" Dean picked up his spoon.

"I can't believe he'd do something like that" Castiel cried silently.

"Just eat your breakfast, then get dressed and then you can back to school. Finally talk to him and get his side of the story. He was trying to do the right thing" Mary assured them.

"How do you know?"

"He told me so. A few days before I took him to the doctor, a few days before your dad turned up dead."

...

"Hi Dean" Gabriel said timidly walking over to Dean in the class room. "How's Cassie?"

"He - he misses you" Dean sighed, "he's upset."

"It was dad or him" Gabriel was clearly sad and sorry. It took him a long time to deiced to do what he did, then he had to plan everything and it was hard work. He just wanted Cas to be safe, even if Castiel did hate him now, he was safe and that's all that mattered. Right?

"I know" Dean patted his shoulder. "I know." They sat in silence the rest of the class. Gabriel couldn't concertante on anything, he was to tied up in beating himself down because of one little slip, it wasn't a little slip but it was mistake and all humans make mistakes. Only Gabriel couldn't help but feel like it was his fault, when it really wasn't. He had _'schizophrenia' _even the doctor said so. It wasn't Gabriel's fault and he was lucky to have a best friend like Dean to support him a brother like Cas who hadn't told anyone and an enemy like Sam who hated him even more but still hadn't told anyone and then there was Mary and John, he owed them so much after everything that they'd done and he was afraid that he would never be able to repay them. He was going to get them Christmas presents for sure, he had to they were like a mother and father to him, it would rude of him not to, right?

...

"Hi, Cas" Gabriel smiled as he walked over to the table with Dean. "Hi, Sam."

"Gabriel" Sam nodded at him bitterly as he took his seat at the table.

"Cas, I'm sorry. Please talk to me" Gabriel begged, sadness shining through his amber eyes. Castiel couldn't look at him not because he was disgusted with Gabriel but because he was disgusted with himself at not standing by Gabriel and helping him through this, because Gabriel would have been there for him.

"I'm sorry" Castiel whispered to his brother. "It's ok. Thank you for pro-tecing me."

"What are brothers for?" Gabriel shrugged with a smile. His day just got better. For a moment all was well again, and then - that moment ended. It was a small gesture that was not intended to do harm. Dean slapped his hand on Castiel's back, in the effort to bring the boy out of his thoughts however it only sent Castiel into the feeling that it was happening all over again. He saw his dad hitting him, he saw Gabriel trying to stand up for him and as all those memories faded, Castiel started shaking and shivering. No one knew what was going on and they were all freaking out, Gabriel especially.

"Cas" he said waving a hand in his face, "Cas. Come on, whats the matter?" Castiel's stomach was churning and his chest was hurting. He was sweating and his mouth was all dry.

"We have to get him to the nurse" Sam ordered getting up. He picked up Castiel's things since Castiel couldn't carry them and Gabriel had to help Dean carry Cas. On there way to the nurses office Castiel only got worse. He was feeling dizzy, he had pins and needles all over his body, he could feel a chocking sensation, he was in bad shape.

"What happened?" The nurse asked when she saw the boys rushing in.

"We don't know" Dean was crying now, was Cas gonna be ok? What was happening to him?

"His having a panic attack" the nurse shouted, picking up the phone she called the ambulance, "keep telling him it's going to be ok, nothings gonna hurt him. Just keep reassuring him of that."

"You're going to be alright Cas" Gabriel cried, "I promise. I'm always here."

"No one will hurt you, I won't let anyone hurt you. I promise" Dean couldn't stand it, what was happening to Castiel?

By the time the ambulance got here, Castiel was experiencing shortness of breath and nausea. Dean, Gabriel and Sam no matter how many times they were told they couldn't get in the ambulance with Castiel ended up sneaking in anyway, there was no way they were going to let him go to the hospital alone.

...

"We have to call his parents, do either of you guys, have the number?" asked the medic.

"His staying with me" Dean said quickly, "my mum and dad are looking after him - he - he hasn't been home in almost a week."

"We need to call his parents"

"Our parents are dead" Gabriel said plainly. "We live with our brother Micheal but his at work. Call Mary and John."

"Will the school have the number?"  
"Yes."

"Names?"

"Winchester" Dean said. "Dean and Sam Winchester. They are Gabriel and Castiel Novak."

...

Finally Castiel was all better, he was sleeping in a hospital bed and a doctor was in there with him, Dean, Gabriel and Sam were sitting outside waiting. Finally Micheal turned up, it looked like Mary and John had called him. They showed up a little while after Micheal did.

"What happened?" Micheal turned on Gabriel.

"I don't know, he suddenly started freaking out" Gabriel sniffed, his eyes were red from crying and he just wanted to go back in there and tell Castiel he was ok now, that he was sorry and everything was going to be ok.  
"People don't just started freaking out" Micheal shouted.

"Maybe he had PTSD" Mary spoke up, "people with PTSD can freak out at anytime."  
"I would have noticed it by now and who are you?" Micheal shouted.

"Mary Winchester" she smiled, "I've been giving a home to your youngest brother for the past few days. Nice to meet you. You must be Micheal."

"You can go in and see him now, but only one at a time" the doctor said stepping out.

"What happened?" Micheal asked.

"He expedience a panic attack, it is very possable that he has PTSD but there are a few more questions I have to ask him before we can be sure but, since he just woke up he's not in the mood to be asked questions. So, Has he ever had any nightmares?"

"Yeah" Dean remembered, "he would have them every time he feel asleep."

"Have these attacks ever happened before?"

"No" Micheal answered, "never."

"Ok, I'll just go and get him some medication. I'll be right back and remember one at a time!"

"Gabriel" Dean said as the doctor walked away, "get in there."

Gabriel took a deep breath and walked through the door, "hey Cas" he smiled sadly at his baby brother.

"Hi, Gabriel. I'm sorry I ignored you"

"No, it's ok. Just get better. I was stupid"

"No. Thank you for protecting me. It means a lot" Castiel forced himself up and hugged his older brother. "Who else is here?"

"Mary and John turned up, so did Micheal. Dean and Sam came here with me in the ambulance that brought you here" Gabriel answered.

"Dean knows I'm ok?"

"Yeah, he was worried. So was I" Gabriel smiled, "I'll go get him."


	18. Chapter 18

**I'm Broken:**

Save the prince:

"Ahh, it's a dragon" Cried Castiel falling backwards.

"Yes, I am a dragon and I am... Kid napping you" Sam had to think carefully about his words, he couldn't remember what he was meant to say. Then he took Castiel's hand and pulled him away over to the tree and sat him down in front of it.

"My crown" Castiel moaned, noticing that he dropped it.

"I'll get it" Dean assured him,

"My son, who will save my son?" Gabriel whined, his paper crown was to small for him and it was just resting on the top of his head.

"I will" Dean said throwing his plastic sword in the air. "I will save Prince Cas and I will give him back his paper crown.

"Thank, Knight Dean. Be careful" Gabriel bowed and Dean ran off towards where Castiel was sitting.

"What are you guy's doing?" Mary called from the back door.

"Mum" Dean moaned, "we're playing save the prince."

"Oh - ok. Sorry" Mary smiled warmly and watching as Dean ran towards the tree.

"I'm here to save you prince Cas" Dean was out of breath and stoped for a moment. "Where is the dragon, I have to kill it." Castiel pointed with his thin finger towards Sam who was now standing behind Dean ready to attack. Dean turned around and held up his sword. "Let the prince go!"

"No" Sam said ready to blow 'fire' towards Dean.

"Then I'll kill you" Dean sighed, pulling Castiel out the way so Sam could breath his 'fire' without hurting anyone. There were a few minutes of bad stage fighting until finally, Dean poked Sam with his sword and Sam fell to the ground, showing how bad he was at acting by taking several minutes to die.

"I have been stabbed" he cried, "I have be killed."

"Die already" Gabriel called. Sam obeyed and pretended to be dead.

"You save me" Castiel grinned up at the boy who knelled in front of him. "Thank you."

"You're welcome" Dean smiled, "I have your crown." As Dean put the crown on Cas's head and kissed his lips sweetly.

"Hoary" Gabriel shouted running over, "you save my son. You shall have to marry him now."

"Can't wait" Dean looked at the floor sheepishly before helping Castiel to his feet. He pulled the boy into a hug. "I'll always slay dragons for you." The blue eyed boys cheeks went red as he stood in front of his older brother, holding his boyfriends hands.

"Your now husband and - uh - Husband. You may now kiss the - just kiss - again" Gabriel said. He'd seen these things been done on TV but they were usually between a man and a women so the words were different and it was confusing but it wasn't real. Dean kissed Castiel again and then they walked to the ned of the garden. Mary and John we're clapping from the door way and they boys looked up surprised. They each bowed and said "thank you. Thank you."

"Come on, it's time for lunch" Mary chuckled, becoming everyone inside to come and sit down.

"Good, I'm starving" Castiel shouted running to the kitchen.

"That's why you should eat breakfast" Gabriel moaned.

"No time" Castiel pouted. "Micheal said, no time."

"Who cares what Micheal says" Gabriel shouted.

"You didn't have breakfast?" John asked passing him his plate.

"No"  
"You did take your pill though, right?"

"I made sure of it. I did" Gabriel glared at Castiel, not in a mean way, but in a scolding brotherly way.

"Ok. Eat up" Mary sighed, putting the television on. Tom and Jerry was playing and they would have turned it over but it was to late, Castiel had spotted it and there was no hope of getting it of the screen without him crying so they had to watch it.

"Are we - going home soon?" Castiel asked timidly.

"I'm afraid so yeah. But I'll see you tomorrow. I'll be taking you to school, remember" John brightened up.

"Yeah" Castiel offered a weak smile.

"Micheal wanted you home by 4 today, so you will have to go shortly but there's still time" Mary nodded.

"Yeah" Castiel said again. Silence hung for a while as everyone finished their lunch, when all was gone Castiel and Gabriel collected the plates. Taking them into the kitchen and putting them in the sink.

"Castiel, you have to take your pill" Mary reminded him. "Dean, get him some water will you."

"Sure" Dean filled a plastic cup up with water and brought it in to Castiel who was looking at the small thing he had to swallow. He always hated doing it, he was always afraid it would get stuck in his throat and he'd die but he never did but it was still a fear that he had and could never get over. Finally Castiel swallowed the pill and downed it with some water, coughing a little as it went down with Dean strockng his back as if to make is easier for him.

"It's ok" Dean whispered, "You're ok."

"If you do well enough on them, you can come off soon" Mary thought, "how does that sound. Just take them for a few more days and if you do well, we'll let you come off for awhile."

"Ok" Castiel agreed and put the cup on the coffee table.

They sat on the couch for awhile just watching the television, Dean had Castiel wrapped up in his arms and eventually Castiel fell asleep. Now that he wasn't having so many nightmares he'd been sleeping more. Dean chuckled as Castiel snored quietly in his arms. Sam was sitting in the arm chair and Gabriel was on the floor by Castiel's feet. Mary was sitting on Johns lap. All was peaceful until it was time to go home and they had to wake Castiel up. Dean didn't want to, a body at rest wants to stay at rest but Castiel had to go home. Eventually Dean gave in and shock Castiel awake,

"time to go home" he said handing Cas his shoes and tying the laces for him. Castiel groaned, he had school tomorrow other wise he'd be allowed to stay longer, maybe even spend the night but no - even though him, Dean, Sam and Gabriel all go to the same school they can't have a sleep over.

...

As normal Dean walked Castiel and Gabriel to the door.

"Bye" he said hugging Castiel as tight as he could manage before offering a friendly hug to Gabriel and then taking his leave.

Anna was the one to open the door,

"Micheal has something to say" she warned them before stepping out of the way.

"What is it?" Gabriel asked sitting down with Castiel.

"They found out how dad died. I thought you should know" Micheal cleared his throat.

"Did you want me to tell them?" Lucifer asked noticing his brothers failure at trying to hold himself together.

"No, I got it, thanks" Micheal assured him. "Although there was a bullet wound in his abdomen, it wasn't deep enough to do any damage"

Gabriel looked at Cas, did this mean he was innocent?

"However he did appear to have been shot again, with a different gun in the heart. Two people were out for him and only one killed him, the other one just thought he did."

...

"So" Castiel whispered that night as they lay in bed, "you didn't kill dad?"

"No" Gabriel smiled, "I didn't."


	19. Chapter 19

**I'm Broken:**

Weakness:

Gabriel didn't kill their dad, he thought he did but he didn't. Of corse he wanted to know who did it but no one knew and Gabriel was just happy to be innocent.

Everyone agreed that Castiel was doing well so far with his medication and eventually Mary agreed to letting him stay off them and see how he goes. In all fairness he was doing well, hadn't had a panic attack for weeks, everyone thought he was cured. They were sitting around the table outside at break time just talking, laughing, smiling. Gabriel and Sam were arguing and Dean and Castiel were laughing at them.

"Harry Potter" Sam shouted.

"Draco"

"Harry"

"Draco"

"Tom and Jerry" Castiel said timidly, drawing attention to himself.

"What?"

"Tom and Jerry" Castiel repeated with a giggle. "I like Tom and Jerry." Dean chuckled,

"We'll be in high school in a few years" he said. "Can't believe it."

"You go to high school" Castiel corrected him. "You'll leave me again." There it was that look, the look that said Castiel was about to panic. "You'll leave me, forget me."

"I'm not" Dean sighed, "you know I won't." Dean looked back at Cas, saying it wasn't going happen was useless at this point. Telling someone having a panic attack there in no danger only makes it worse, because they then think people are calling them stupid. He remembered being told not to touch him, not to move to fast, to keep his voice calm and to reassure him that it'll be ok.

"Cas, everything will be fine" Dean said, "look at me" he remembered being told to try and set their mind on other things by getting them to do something but he couldn't think of something on the spot and now he was panicking which wasn't good. _'Take him somewhere calm, away from people,'_

"Come on, I'll take you somewhere less noisy" Dean stood up, Castiel was hesitant. He was sweating and shaking now. He couldn't stay here, not if he was going to be like this.

...

He took Castiel too the library. Barely anyone was there and it was quite, perfect. But the librarian was worried about Cas and ended up calling someone to come and get him. Which only made Castiel feel worse because if they called Micheal, then Micheal wouldn't let Dean go to and the reason Castiel was panicking was because he thought Dean was going to leave him, so he needed to be with Dean but Dean had no reason to be off so Castiel had to stay at school and deal with his panic attack. Gabriel and Sam got sent to their lessons but Castiel couldn't go while he was in that frame of mind and Dean had to stay or Cas would only get worse.

"Water?" Dean asked holding a cup out to his boyfriend that the nurse just brought in. Castiel had to stay in the library because moving him again would only panic him more so he had the nurse come to him. Castiel put a hand on his chest, it was hurting so bad and his heart felt like it was going to jump out.

"It's ok" Dean said again, he'd been saying that for half an hour now. Castiel took the water and drank it. Taking one of him pills, crushed up and mixed into it without even knowing it. It took a few minutes but he eventually started to calm down.

"Sorry" he apologized as he wiped the sweat from his forehead.

"It's ok" Dean said for the thousandth time in 2 hours. "You have to go to lesson."  
"I'm not leaving you" Dean's voice was stern and sure, Castiel feel into his arms. Panic attacks really did wear him out. Why did he let them take him off the pills?

...

Castiel was sitting around the Winchesters dinning table, his hands on his knees, Dean rubbing his back, Gabriel next to him. Sam opposite him sitting next to Mary and then John next to her.

"Come on Cas, you know you have too" John felt sorry for the boy, everything he'd been through. His dad beating him, his dad going missing, his dad turning up dead, thinking his older brother killed his dad and then finding out that he didn't. It's too much for anyone to handle let alone for a kid to handle, although most Castiel's childhood was stolen from him along with his innocence.

"I'll try harder" Castiel cried, "I'll try. I promise."

This was breaking Dean and Gabriel's heart. Seeing Castiel like this, it was more than either of them could bare but they had to bare it, Castiel needed both of them right now.

"You just - you just weren't ready yet. Maybe stay on them for a little longer and then you can try coming of them again" Mary smiled, there was no way she was going to let Castiel come off them again but she had to say it, if it made him take them again.

"I'm weak" Castiel shouted, punching himself in the knee. "Weak."

"No. You're not" Dean let the tears escape from his eyes, "you are strong you just - you just - um, you need a little help. We all do sometime."

"I'm sorry" Castiel punched his knees again. "It's my fault."

"No it's not" Gabriel shouted, "it's mine. I should have stopped dad sooner."

"No" Castiel cried, "not your fault."

"If he didn't, I would've" Dean agreed.

"Dean" Mary shouted, "don't encourage him."

"Their dad was a meanie" Dean pouted brushing Castiel's hair out of his eyes. "Please, Cas."

"I'm so weak" Castiel repeated.

"Do you remember - look at me - Cas, do you remember our first kiss?" Dean asked pointing towards the climbing frame, just visible through the window. "It was out there, remember?"

"Yeah, of corse I do" Castiel wiped his eyes but didn't look up. How could he forget?

"You kissed me, remember?" Dean asked again.

"Yes, I know" Castiel buried his head in his hands.

"That was - ah - whats the word?"

"Courage" Mary smiled at him,

"Corage" Dean nodded, "you are strong. I know it. Please, take the pill. For me at least."

Castiel took a few deep breaths, eventually he placed the pill on his tongue and swallowed it with a mouth full of water. Coughed as it went down and then looked at everyone around him and apologized.

"It's ok" Dean smiled. "Come here." Dean put his arms around the boy and hushed him as he cried. "Not your fault."


	20. Chapter 20

**I'm Broken:**

Rain drops:

"Lunch time, Cassie" Gabriel called.

"Are we going to see Dean after lunch, you promised" Castiel said as he shuffled his feet over to the counter to eat his lunch.

"Yes we'll leave right after you take two pills" Gabriel smirked at Castiel waiting for him to respond.

"Why two?"

"Because you didn't take one after breakfast" Gabriel's smile faded and he raised his voice, "I've been checking, you know you have to take them."

Castiel flinched, he knew Gabriel wouldn't hit him but he hated hearing Gabriel shout. Gabriel automatically calmed down realizing that since Cas hadn't taken any pills today, shouting was not going to help.

"Who said you we're going to Dean's house today?" Micheal asked looking up from his newspaper.

"I did" Gabriel shrugged.

"It's Saturday. I was going to take everyone to visit dad's grave" Micheal announced, "you're not going anywhere."

"We're not going to visit dad" Gabriel sighed, "I don't want to go, Cas, you don't want to go, do you?"

"No" Castiel shock his head shamefully as he nibbled at his sandwich.

"Dad but a roof over our heads and food on the table" Micheal shouted, Gabriel put one arm around Castiel trying to reassure him nothing was going to hurt him since, he was trying trick Gabriel out of taking meds.

"Not a lot of food and it tasted horrible. At what price was the roof? It almost -" Gabriel made sure to keep his voice down, "this no home, it's just a house."

"If you don't like it leave" Micheal shouted. "Go on, get out!"

"You're a lot dad" Gabriel snarled, offering his baby brother his hand, "we're just going somewhere quite, put your shoes on."

"With a lot of luck you'll turn into him some day"

"I hope I don't!" Gabriel slammed the door and had to walk a panicking Castiel to the Winchester house hold. "Don't listen to him. Neither of us will become dad. I won't let that happen."

"Micheal's angry" Castiel's voice was dry and sad. "He was going to hit me - wasn't he - like dad used to?"

"No" Gabriel soothed, "no, he was just a little mad that's all. Micheal just needs to calm down. Everything's alright."

"Dad's not coming back right?" Castiel asked his panic voice setting in. "He is dead, isn't he?"

"Of corse he is, Cas" Gabriel said looking up at the sky, great it was staring to rain, good thing they we're almost there, maybe the cold rain could help keep Castiel's body temperature down because he was heating up fast.

"Micheal not want us no more" Castiel spat out, "Micheal hates us."

"No, no. It's ok" Gabriel stoped in the street. The Winchesters weren't home! _'Where are they? They'll have to come back at some point today, right? Might as well wait around, theres nowhere else we can go.' _

"Dean's gone" Castiel cried. "He left."

"It'll be ok. He'll come back, wanna sit here and wait?" Gabriel asked kindly.

"Ok" Castiel nodded. Taking a seat on the door step and cuddling up to Gabriel. Castiel started feeling a chocking sensation and wiped the sweat that was dripping down his forehead. Suddenly Castiel stood up. "Don't want to sit" he said.

"Maybe you should do some jumping jacks" Gabriel suggested remembering being told that if Castiel ever wants to move around during an attack, get him to do some jumping jacks. "Jumping jacks or you can sit back down." Castiel's chest was hurting to much for him to jump so he, once again, took a seat. "You'll be fine. Dean'll come back. I promise. Come on, breath with me, like this." Gabriel demonstrated by breathing in and out a few times after a while Castiel started breathing the way Gabriel was and his breathing was controlled. Eventually Castiel started to calm down, the rain keeping down his body temperature and Gabriel helping him with his breathing. Gabriel removed his coat, pulled Castiel closer and slipped half of the coat around Castiel. Castiel put his head on Gabriel's shoulder while Gabriel started to sing the lullaby he remembered his mother singing all to well,

"Touch you're heart, close your bright eyes. Make a wish and say good night, the sky is so wide and the stars will shine. I'll turn out the lights if you sleep real tight." After some time he heard Castiel snoring lightly and a weak smiled played on his lips.

That was only thing that broke the silence besides the rain. Gabriel couldn't sleep, if Castiel was asleep and then he went to sleep someone might take them away. It only got darker and colder and the rain only got heavier. Gabriel was cold now,

_'Hurry up, guys. I don't want Cas to get sick'. _

Finally he saw the 1967 Chevy Impala driving up the road. Everyone saw the boys on the doorstep and if the back doors weren't child locked Dean would have jumped out while the car was moving. As soon as the car had stopped Mary let the boys out and John ran to unlock the door.

"Cas" Dean yelled running over.

"Quite" Gabriel whispered, "shouting already made him panic once!"

"Sorry" Dean apolaigzed, helping Castiel to his feet, causing him to wake.

"Dean" he moaned his eyes fluttering open. "Dean." He threw his arms around the boy, "I'm - wet. I'm sorry."

"It's ok. Come on, get inside you must be freezing" Dean stood Castiel inside. "I'll go get dry clothes. I'll be right back" Dean ran up the stairs.

"Gabriel, oh my god - are you ok?" Sam ran over and took of his coat placing it on Gabriel's shoulders before dashing upstairs to go get him some dry clothes.

"Go in the bathroom and take your clothes off, the boys will bring you some down and you can put them on" Mary instructed, hanging everyone coats up and putting shoes away.

Gabriel pulled Castiel into the bathroom and they undressed.

"I found pajama's. I hope their ok" Dean cried almost jumping the entire set of stairs. Castiel slightly opened the bathroom door, took the clothes and put them on. Sam came down next, luckily him being to tall for his age and Gabriel being too small, they were the same size.

"Sammy" Dean called as Sam handed Gabriel some pajama's, "get a blanket will ya?"

"Sure" Sam nodded dashing up the stairs.

"I'll make some soup" Mary suggested.

"I'll make hot chocolate" John added following her. Castiel shuffled out the bathroom, closing the door behind him and stood at the end of the couch, head down.

"Come on, sit down. Sam went to get a blanket" Dean opened his arms to his boyfriend and closed them around him. "You warm now?"

"Yeah" Castiel sighed nuzzling his head under Dean's chin, causing him to chuckle. Gabriel came out next, plonking himself next to Castiel, then Sam came down the blanket and shared it between the four of them.

"You two ok now?" he asked looking at Gabriel,

"Yeah, thanks for the clothes" Gabriel nodded before turning to Dean, "he didn't take his medication today."

"What? Why?" Dean looked down at Cas, he didn't want to look disappointed but it showed.

"Don't be mad at me" Castiel buried his face, he couldn't stand to see Dean so disappointed in him.

"You said you'd start taking it" Dean felt sad now, if they hadn't been so hard on him maybe Castiel wouldn't have lied.

"I just - wanted to be strong. I've been trying" Castiel sobbed.

"Ok" Dean sighed again, "it's ok. But you have to take some now."

"Can't. Didn't bring them" Gabriel announced.

"What" Sam shouted, looks like they were arguing again.

"Don't shout, Cas had one panic attack today, another on would be way to many" Gabriel sighed, "when Micheal kicked us out, we didn't have time."

"Maybe we should keep a few here?" Marry suggested handing the boys cups of soup, "careful it's hot."

"Thank you" Gabriel smiled, grateful. Why couldn't the people his related to be like this?

"Stop thanking us" Sam moaned, "you'd do this for us."

He was right, Gabriel hated Sam with a blind passion but if Sam turned up on his door step, he'd welcome him like family and in a weird way Gabriel did think of Sam as family. Sure they hated each other and got kicked out once for fighting but Sam had cared for Gabriel more than anyone he was actually related to. Mary, John, Dean, Cas even Sam they were Gabriel's only family as far as he was concerned. Micheal, Lucifer, Ralpheal, Uriel, Balthazar and Anna they were just related to him, they were no family and the house he lived in was just a house, the Winchesters house, that was his home. Home is where the heart is and a family is people who care for you.

...

Dean and Castiel were laying on the pull out couch, still awake but looking up at the ceiling, wrapped up in each others arms. It was a moment where words weren't needed, the rain was still coming down and it broke the silence as it hit the windows. Castiel could feel Dean's stomach rise and fall underneath his head as he drew in breaths and then let them go again.

"Cas" Dean whispered, "I love you."

"I love you more"

"I love you most"

"That's impossabile."

"Come on. You should sleep" Dean mentioned and both boys closed there eyes.

...

"I'm not dead Castiel" his dad said stepping out of the darkness. "I'm alive and I'm going to kill Gabriel and Dean and you're going to watch me do it and then - I'm going to kill you too. I never liked you, you were always my least favorite and you knew it but you never did anything about it. You made Gabriel try to kill me."

"Dad, I'm sorry. You were hurting me, Gabriel too. You were" Castiel cried as his dad put a gun to Gabriel's head. "Please don't."

"I have to. If I don't kill you guys, y'all will kill me" His dad snarled and put his finger on the trigger.

"No, we won't I promise" Castiel put a hand over his mouth and closed his eyes as his dad pulled the trigger.

...

Castiel sat up in cold sweats and screamed waking everyone up as they came running down the stairs.

"Nightmares again?" Dean asked rubbing his eyes as he felt Castiel's sudden movements. "Your medication stoped those - oh yeah - I forgot, you haven't taken any today. What was it about?"

"Cas, you ok?" Gabriel asked.

"Hey, his fine. Dean's with him, you go get some rest. You need it. Look at you. Come on" Sam said pulling Gabriel by the arm and pushing him back in Dean's room, closing the door and walking back into his room.

"Come on, you'll be fine. Nothing will hurt you. I'm here, remember" Dean smiled, cradling Castiel's head that was now resting on his shoulder. "I got you."


	21. Chapter 21

**I'm Broken:**

Fighting:

"You're an idiot!" Sam shouted at Gabriel across the table.

"Sam" Dean warned him.

"I know you are but what am I?" Gabriel replied.

"Gabriel" Castiel tutted. Really, after everything those boys have been through together, they're still ripping each others throats out? It was getting tiersome. The next thing they knew Sam and Gabriel were hitting each other and there was a circle of people shouting **'fight, fight, fight' **Dean and Castiel trying to pull them away from each other and failing. A teacher running over to break things up. Eventually both boys turned up in the princiaples office, bruised and worn out.

"Why?" the head master asked, "I just want to know, why?"

Both boys looked at each other apolagetically.

"Sorry" Sam muttered.

"Me too" Gabriel sighed, looking at his feet.

"Tell me why!"

"You're not my dad, I don't have to tell you anything" Gabriel snarled crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair.

"Sam?" the head master, (Mr. Davis) looked at Sam expecting him to say. Since Gabriel and Sam weren't getting along, he thought Sam might rat Gabriel out but Sam knew he couldn't. He hated Gabriel but he didn't want him to go jail for attempted murder, since that was why they were aruging.

"I doesn't matter" Sam muttered under his breath.

"I'll call home then" Mr. Davis said, he thought they'd confess but neither of them did.

"Tell Micheal I said hi" Gabriel smirked, Sam punched him as if to warn him off.

"I will" Mr. Davis agreed returning an equaly evil smile.

...

"I can't believe you got your self exculed for the rest of the week!" Micheal shouted at Gabriel, "you're so stupid!"  
"Bye Sam" Gabriel pouted as Micheal pulled him away.

"Good luck" Sam replied with a half hearted smile.  
"Why were you fighting?" Mary asked after Micheal and Gabreil had drove away.  
"It was about Gabriel, trying to kill his dad" Sam whispered, "I called him an idiot."

"Ok. Come on, let's go home" Mary cleared her throat.

...

It was lunch time, and Castiel had just finished eating the bag of potao chips Dean had given him.

"Take your pill now" Dean said sternly watching as Castiel rummadged through his bag and his trouser pockets; only to find nothing.

"I - I forgot them" Castiel hung his head, he didn't forget them, he left them behind. He just wanted a chance to prove he was strong. He just wanted a second chance, that was it but no one would give him one.

"That's ok" Dean smiled, Castiel looked at him surprised, it wasn't like Dean to say something like that. "Mum gave me a pack, just incase" Dean took the pill out the packet and put it on the table. "Cas, take the pill."

"I just - I want to be strong" Castiel said quitley.

"Strong people get help. Weak people pretend that nothing is wrong" Dean told him, sure it sounded mean but he hoped it would encourage Cas to do the right thing.

"I'm weak. I already said that" Castiel's voice was slowly raising and Dean wasn't in the mood to have a fight with Cas, he'd just watched his best friend fight with his brother, fighting with Cas was not what he needed right now but if it got Cas to take the pill then why not?

"Just take the pill, Cas!" Dean shouted.  
"Why are you shouting at me? I haven't done anything"

"Please, take the pill"

"I want another chance"

"You'll get it. After you take your mediction for a few more days"

"No!"  
"Now!"

Evenually Castiel stormed off in a strop, tears down his face. It took awhile but Dean ended up running after him.

"Cas!" He shouted chasing after him, "I'm sorry!"

...

Castiel brust into the bathroom only to be surprised by the school bullies that were hanging around in there. One of them was 2 years older than him and the other two were 3 years older than him.

"Oh look" one said turning. "It's the little gay boy from 2 years down."

"Oh" said the other. "Maybe we should run away, he might try to kiss us."

The thrid boy walked over to Castiel and threw a punch into his stomach, causing him to fall to the floor. Dean came flying through the door.

"Get the hell of him" he shouted pushing the other boy off Cas and hitting him.

"D- Dean" Castiel whispered, the wind knocked out of him, he couldn't stand up properly.

"Don't worry Cas. I'll protect you remember, no matter what" Dean reminded him backing Castiel into the corner and standing in front of him and fighting off the three boys. Evenutally Castiel got his breath back and tried to help. He took it from his dad, but his dad was gone, he didn't have to take it anymore. He let all his anger, all his pain, all of his sadness, he let it all out and every punch he threw properly hurt more than the ones he took.

Another boy ended up walking in mid-way through. Everyone was to busy to notice him and he ran out again anyway. Dean was trying hit boy that was hitting him while keep the other boy away from Cas, while Castiel tried to fight the boy who was hitting him and take the other boy away from Dean, it wasn't going well for them at the moment and they were bruised, Dean had a split lip, Castiel had a cut on his nose. It was awful. Then... A teacher walked in and broke it all up. The bullies ran out straight away but Dean and Castiel, exusated because they were out numbered, feel into each others arms. Dean handed the pill to Castiel and Castiel, who had enought fighting for the rest of his life, put the pill in his mouth took a mouthful of tap water and swallowed, coughing and wiping the sweat from his forehead, Dean took his hand and they followed the teacher to the pricaples office, where they met the same fate as their brothers.

...

"I can't believe you got yourself kicked out too" Micheal huffed, "for god sakes. Come on."

"Bye Cas. I'll see you tomorrow" Dean smiled hugging him good bye.

"No, you won't. You're a bad infulence on him" Micheal pulled Castiel away.

"Excuse me, but you are a worse infulence than my son has ever been and your Cas's brother!" Mary shouted, how dare he say such things. "And if Castiel wants to see Dean tomorrow then sure as hell he will. Got it!"

"Yeah - whatever you say lady. Come on Castiel" Micheal shoved him in the car, strapped him in and drove away.


	22. Chapter 22

**I'm Broken:**

(Hey, I know it's been awhile but I've been ill so I haven't been able to upload this. I hope you enjoy it)

Happy Halloween:

After the fight he had with Dean, Castiel was taking his medication reguraly, although Dean was sorry about arguing with Cas he was glad that Cas was doing better now. Halloween was coming up and Dean wanted Castiel and Gabriel over, they'd never gone trick-or-treating before and there was no way they could miss it. Micheal agreed to letting them go.

"Is it ok, if Castiel and Gabriel stay over for Halloween?" Mary asked Micheal.  
"Stay? You mean spend the night?" Micheal questioned and thought for awhile. "Ok, fine. Home the next day, straight after school!"

"Ok, thank you" Mary smiled and led the boys to the car for school.

"I wanna be zombie" Dean shouted.

"I wanna be superman" Castiel agreed.

"I wanna be a werewolf" Sam added.

"Can I be a vampire?" Gabriel questioned.

"Ok, ok. Everyone calm down, we'll sort costumes out after school" Mary giggled starting the car.

...

"Whats the matter with you?" Lucifer asked noticing Micheal's puzzled expression when he walked through the door.

"Do you ever wonder if they're happier there than they are here?"

"No. I don't, but now that you mention it, they properly are" Lucifer chuckled, "Micheal, their kids. No kid is any happier in their home as they are at their friends. When we were there age we were at our friends houses all the time, you remember?"

"Yeah, I remember" Micheal pictured it in his head, going over to chucks house and eating sweets not getting told off for doing things that he'd get told off for doing at home. He'd go over there every single chance he got. Lucifer was the same way with Crowley.

"Oh, Meg's taking me to a party tonight" Lucifer pointed at him, "so I won't be coming home."

"Ok, well uh - have fun, be safe"

"Please" Lucifer tutted, "safe? You know how badass I am."

"You think you can surprint a child? You can't even support yourself, i'm the one who wakes you up for work in the morning."

"Details" Lucifer waved a hand to shoo Micheal away and returned his attention to the television.

...

"Mummy can we camp in the back yard tonight?" Dean asked shyly.

"Not tonight sweetie, another night ok. Dad still has some gardening to do but I promise, one day all four of you can camp in a tent in the back yard ok?"

"Ok" Dean pouted.

"Mary" Cas spoke up, something had been bothering him for awhile now, the other day when him and Dean got beat up in the bathroom before Dean entered one of the boys called him Gay and he just wanted to know what that meant. "What does gay mean?"

"Why?" Mary wasn't sure how to answer that, she couldn't say that he was gay because since Dean is the only one he's ever been with, he could be a bisexual no one knew, really.

"The other day when me and Dean got beaten up, I was called gay and I never knew what that meant. I'm not gay am I, I thought I was a person?"

Castiel was cute, in saying that and he was right a person should not be defined by their sexual orientation it should matter purely on who they are.

"You got a point there Cas" said Mary, "Cas, gay is a word that describes when a boy is in love with another boy."

"Like me and you" Dean said to him.

"Oh, so they were right"

"Yes but, if someone calls you gay again just tell them it's none of their business but yes you are and then ask them why it matters, ok?"

"Yes, ma'am" Castiel nodded.

"Good boy."

...

The school day wouldn't quick enough. Everyone just wanted to go trick-or-treating not work. Castiel couldn't consternate, his first time trick-or-treating.

"So, people just give you sweets?" he whispered to Sam.

"Yeah" Sam answered with a smile, Castiel was excited, that's good. "You say, trick-or-treat and they put sweets in your bag."

"Why?"

"I don't know, they just - do."

"Cool."

"I can't believe you've never been trick-or-treating before" Sam chuckled. "What did you do on Halloween?"

"Nothing" Castiel shrugged.

"Oh."

...

Finally, schools out.

"Ready?" Dean asked when he met Cas and Sam outside their class room.

"Yes" Castiel smiled, kissing Dean as they walked towards the exit to get in the car. Castiel couldn't wait. He was shaking with excitement and he couldn't get the smile of his face, he didn't want to sit down he wanted to run and jump and shout and scream, he wanted to go trick-or-treating and eat candy until he threw up. Mary was the costume designer for the night and after getting he bride of Frankensteinian costume done and Johns Frankensteinian costume she worked on helping the boys with their face paint. Castiel, only being superman didn't need face paint.

"You look good" Dean assured Castiel as he looking in the mirror at his reflection with disapproval.

"Thank you" Castiel smiled and watched Mary add a little fake blood to Deans clothes and then moved on to messing up Sam's hair to make him look more werewolf like.

"I can't believe you've never been trick-or-treating" Dean said taking Castiel's hand as they stepped out the front door.

"Bye Mary" John sighed, kissing her. He had to stay home and hand candy to trick-or-treaters.

"Bye honey" she smiled taking Sam's and Gabriels hand, Dean and Castiel in front hand in hand.

"How about here?" Dean asked, pointing to the first house he saw.

"Sure" Mary nodded leading them up to the door and knocking.

"Trick-or-treat" everyone shouted as a man opened the door.

"Oh. Happy Halloween and how scary costumes we have here" the old man joked dropping candy into their bags.

"Thank you" Castiel nodded as Dean pulled him away.

"See, it's easy" Dean smiled into Cas's blue eyes and kissed his nose, laughing as Castiel shock his head in surprise.

...

"How much did you get?" John asked as they all walked in the front door. He'd already pulled the couch bed out for Dean and Cas.

"Loads" Castiel was so impressed and proud of himself. Gabriel was stealing some of Sam's candy when he wasn't looking.  
"Gabriel, give Sam his candy back!" Mary ordered sternly.

"Sorry, mu-" Gabriel stopped, "Sorry, Mary." Mary gave him a sympathatic smile,

"It's ok, just give it back"

Gabriel put Sam's candy back in his bowl and walked up stairs.

"I'm going to bed - I - I'm tired"

"Ok. We should all go to bed. We'll have candy in the morning." Mary recommenced pulling John upstairs.

"How was your first Halloween?" Dean asked, pulling on his pajamas.

"It was fun. Can we do it again?"

"Next Halloween yeah" Dean crawled into bed next to and pulled him in close his arms around him possessively. "Night, Cas. I love you."

"Night. I love you too"

"I love you more"  
"I love you most"

"That's impossabile."


	23. Chapter 23

**I'm Broken:**

My angel:

"You thought I was going to leave you there, didn't you?" Dean was teasing Castiel in the car, early in the morning and Castiel was still tired.

"I was afraid you might" Castiel blushed, turning his face away from Dean to hide his embarrassment.

"I couldn't" Dean put a hand on his boyfriend shoulder before slipping it back to it's normal place at Cas's waist. "If you stayed there, you'd never learn how to swim."

"It's ok, Dean" Castiel said timidly. "I don't need to swim."

"You're scared?"

"N-no I just - yes"

"I'll be there" Dean assured him sweetly. "I'll save you."

Although Dean found it cute that Castiel was afraid to learn, it had to be done. Castiel was free, he doesn't have a dad anymore, he was no longer in any danger therefore he could do anything he wanted no matter how bad it scared him and Dean was always going to be there to help him thought it. Castiel was strongly lacking in self confidence which confused Dean the most, he was constantly telling Cas: _'You're beautiful', 'You're amazing'_ and _'I love you.' _Mary told him it was because of his dad, having someone beat you up your entire life can really make you feel bad about yourself.

"You'll do good" Dean whispered to him, "you're smart." Castiel didn't say anything, but he didn't have to. He just smiled and nuzzled his head under Deans chin, his cheeks turning red.

...

"Cas, come out" Dean begged knocking on the door to the Novak's youngest two children's cubical.

"I look stupid" Castiel replied from the far left hand corner of the changing cubical he was in. He already kicked Gabriel out for laughing at him, and now he was refusing to come out.

"He kicked me out" Gabriel moaned.  
"Why?" Sam asked looking at him, obviously, he'd something mean but what did he do?

"I laughed but I didn't mean it in a bad way" Gabriel confessed.

"Gabriel" Mary scowled at him, "apolagise."

"I'm sorry Castiel" Gabriel huffed out, knocking on the door one more time.

"You're bea-u-ti-ful" Dean's voice was low but everyone heard it. Castiel put his ear to the door, interested on what else Dean had to say. "You're amaz-ing and I love you. Please, come out." Castiel swallowed the lump in his throat, he was scared but he had to do it. If not for him then at least for Dean. He unlocked the door and with his arms covering his body he stepped out.

"See" Dean whispered pulling Castiel arms away from his sides so he could put his arm around Castiel's waist as usual. "Bea-ut-if-ul". Again Castiel said nothing and again, he didn't need to. He just swang his arm around Dean's back and followed him into the pool area. There were so many people in there, it only made the Novak boys more nervous. A few people looked up at Dean and Castiel as they walked in and now Castiel was embarrassed again and he just wanted to hide and cover himself up. Eventually everyone looked away and turned the interest back to their own activates.

Dean held Castiel closer and helped him into the pool by the step ladder. Since Dean and Sam already knew how to swim, Mary and John wanted them to teach the boys. Of corse there was nothing wrong with them teaching Cas and Gabe they hoped it would make Sam and Gabriel get along better.

"Hold on to me and kick your legs" Dean instructed pulling Castiel's arms around his waist and holding on to him. Castiel couldn't float and he ended up feeling unsafe and started screaming. Everyone turned to look at the poor boy as Dean pulled him up and held him tightly in his arms. "I got you" he whispered softly, wiping Castiel's tears away.

"Gay" Came a distant voice. Clearly the person was trying to be funny but not over heard at the same time.

"Excuse me?" John spoke, everyone had gone back to their business but John was now slightly outraged at the guys rudeness. "You're like what 16, right? My youngest son is 7 years old" he pointed to Sam as an example, "All it took was for his brother to smile and he was willing to accept that his older brother was in love with another dude. It's literally that easy for a 7 year old to understand they've understood it since they were 4, so congratulations for being worse that 4 year old man, really. Well done."

There was silence as Mary pulled John away and Sam watched Gabriel trying to swim.

"Is this right?" Gabriel questioned, holding on to the side and kicking his legs.

"No" Sam teased him, never getting over confusing the older boy.

"Sam! Yes, Gabriel you're doing it right" Mary sighed with an eye roll, maybe it was time to accept that Gabriel and Sam were never going to get along the same way they did when Sam was ill. Gabriel turned to Castiel, he felt bad for getting it right the first time where as Castiel was still not getting it.

"You'll get there" he said, "I promise."

"I told you" Castiel replied quietly with a disappointed tone, "I' stupid."

"No. You're not. I know dad told you that you are but he was wrong. Dad was stupid and he didn't like that. He told us that were stupid so that he could feel good about himself" Gabriel explained. "You're smart."

"You're nice too" Sam added.

"You're my angel" Dean patted the top of Castiel's head a few times before hugging as tight as he could manage.

"You're brave and above all else, you're family" Mary butted in. "You're not stupid and you should never let anyone tell you any different! You are a good person, Castiel. It's just - bad things have happened to you and sure enough you didn't deserve it, neither of you did" she looked down at Gabriel, "no one ever deserves it but you guys, you've been doing well at coping I think and you've tried. You two are two of the strongest children I have ever met and anyone who is ever mean to you deserves a slap because you guys - you are inspirational."

"What does in-sper-ation-al mean?" Gabriel looked up into Mary's face with a puzzled expression, he knew she was being nice but he didn't understand any of it.

"It means you're a hero"

"We don't have any super powers"

"You don't need powers to be a hero, Gabriel. You just need to be a good person."

"Oh."

...

"When we get home boys" John said as they drove down the road back to the Winchesters house. "We thought it would be a good idea to make some cookies, what do you think? I will have to put them in the oven and Mary'll have to weight out the ingredients but we thought you'd like some home made Cookies, how does that sound?"

"Yeah" they all shouted at the same time. Swimming and home made cookies, wow today was a good day.

"I never cooked before" Castiel said, timidly; Dean looked down at him and replied,

"I haven't either. We'll learn together."


	24. Chapter 24

**I'm Broken:**

The Bunker:

The Impala was in the garage so Gabriel, Dean, Sam and Castiel had to walk to and from school. They were currently walking in silence, Castiel, after being bullied at school recently was not in the mood for talking. Dean was trying to work out what was wrong with Cas, Gabriel had nothing to say and neither did Sam.

"What's the matter, Cas?" Dean asked, finally giving up at trying to guess.

"Nothing" Castiel replied with a sad huff and puff.

"People were being mean to him in class today" Sam spoke up, someone had to tell Dean and it sure as hell wasn't gonna be Cas.

"What? Who?" Dean was angry now, if someone was hurting Cas then Dean had to do something about it.

"It's ok, Dean. It doesn't even matter" Castiel was trying to sound as if he wasn't hurt, as if he was ok but he was a bad lair.

"It does matter. Who was it Sam?" Dean would have shouted but he knew Cas didn't need it right now.

"Crowley King and Alastair Devils" Sam answered.

"You need to start standing up for yourself" Gabriel's words were emotionless and cold. As if all his emotions were gone.

"Those kids are dead" Dean shouted. "I'm gonna rip there lungs out!"

"Dean, I'm fine, really" Castiel sighed, he was flattered by Dean's obvious over protectiveness but things were only going to get worse, people weren't going to accept Dean and Castiel being in a relationship and time soon and beating people up wasn't going to help.

"Ok, ok. If it happens again -" Dean kissed Castiel's cheek, "tell me!"

"Ok" Castiel hung his head, he felt so useless and weak and although he loved Dean and he did, really but it was usually Dean wanting to do everything for him that made him feel useless and he wanted to tell Dean but he didn't want to hurt his feelings and he knew that Dean was just trying to be nice.

"What's that" Gabriel shouted, pointing what looked like a hole in the ground.

"It's a - Sam, go check it out" Dean inisited and followed everyone over to it.

"It's a door" Castiel noticed. "Open it!"

"We don't know what in there" Sam backed away, a little worried about what could be in there.

"It doesn't matter" Gabriel rolled his eyes and pulled on the door. It was rusty and small. It took all four boys to get it open but inside - It was huge. Most of it was underground but it looked like it cost a lot of money. There was a lot of other doors and the boys couldn't wait to find out what else was in there. How many rooms? How many floors? If they were going to make this place their place now, then they needed to get a lock for it and out put the key somewhere safe. Finally they all settled on the idea of giving it to Mary so that they could have it kept safe and get it whenever they needed it. Everyone ran off in different directions.

"Turn on the lights" Gabriel ordered coldly, his words like stone.

_'When did Gabriel become some cold and emotionless?'_ Sam thought to himself as Castiel flicked the first switch he saw. It worked, the lights were on and that place was amazing. You can see how big it really was. There were a lot of bookshelves, a lot of tables and chairs.

"I found a kitchen!" Gabriel shouted, "the fridge is empty!"

"We should get some pie and then we can put it in the fridge" Dean suggested.

"There are bed rooms too" Sam noticed opening door by door. "They have big beds and some have small beds and some have two beds."

"I'll go see where those stairs led, what are you doing Cas?" Dean asked and before Cas even said anything. "Yeah, staying here would be best, we don't know whats in this place and I wouldn't want you to get, hurt. Staying heres fine. I'll be right back."

"Dean, I want to go down stairs, with you" Cas begged. "I want to see more of this place."

"It's called 'The' uh - 'Bunker.' Yeah, we'll call it 'The Bunker.' Come on then if you want to come with me."

"Dean, I can look after myself" Castiel said shyly. He didn't want to start an argument but he did want more freedom and independence.

"I know. I'm just helping you learn how to do things alone" Dean shrugged, slipping his arm to Castiel's waist and helping him down the stairs.

"I know. I want to do things by myself but still with you" Castiel didn't even know how to explain what he meant. "I want to try things before you tell me how to do it."

"Ok. I get it" Dean stressed, "You want to do things without me telling you what to do, that's fine. You should have said something sooner."

"I was afraid you'd be upset" Castiel sighed as they got to the bottom of the stairs.

"No" Dean took Castiel into his arms and held him tightly. "It's ok." They broke apart and Dean smiled down at his boyfriend. They walked to other sides of the hallway and began opening doors.

More books, more bedrooms, more studies.

"I got a commuter" Dean shouted, his voice echoed a little but he wasn't thinking about that right now. He entered one of the rooms and stared looking around, a certain book caught his eye and when he tried to pick it up the stair case split in two and opened to revel another room. "Cas!" he shouted, "look at this!" Dean found a piece of paper on the floor and a pen on the table and quickly wrote down the name of the book since he knew that he'd otherwise forget.

"What did you do?" Castiel asked noticing the broken book case.

"It's a secret room" Dean told him walking into it. "It's a dungeon! They used to keep dragons in here!"

"Are you sure?" Castiel was excited now, dragons? Maybe they were nights?

"Sam, Gabriel!" Dean shouted as loud as he could, "there's a dungeon down here!"

Gabriel and Sam came running,

"You broke the bookshelf, you better fix it" Sam said as he entered the room, then he stepped into the dungeon and looked around.

"This place is cool" that is most amount of emotion anyone has gotten from Gabriel for a few weeks now. Everything he's said since Castiel went back on his medication has been... Cold and empty as he didn't feel anything anymore.

"Cas" Dean shouted, turning to say something to him and realizing he wasn't there. Castiel had somehow managed to slip past everyone and was now standing in the corridor looking at another set of stairs.

"After you" Dean whispered in his ear making him jump. Castiel walked down the stairs, everyone else following him.

"It's a.. Garage" Sam noticed gazing around him as Gabriel turned the light on.

"So many cars. Look, theres a space for dad's car, one day I'm gonna drive it here" Dean put his hands on his hips and stood there trying to look impressive but it just caused everyone to laugh at him.

"That was cute" Castiel chuckled taking Dean's hand.

"No ones been here in years. Why are these cars still here?" Sam looked around for some keys. "We shouldn't touch them though. They might break!"

"At least dad won't have to buy me a car" Dean thought loudly.

"We should be going - but we'll come back another day" Gabriel - being the responsible one suggested heading home. God knows how long they'd been wondering around that place and everyone would be wondering where they are.

"You guys ok?" Mary asked

"We found something" Dean's eyes were wide with excitement and his lips formed into a smile.

"What was it?"

"It's called 'The Bunker' and it's our base now" Dean was so innocent in saying that how could Mary and John punish him.

"Just, next time try to be home on time" Mary begged, "we were worried about you guys."  
"Sorry" everyone apolaigzed and then sat down for dinner.

"Mum, we need a look for the bunker" Sam mentioned remembering that it was needed to stop other people getting in.

"I'll see what I can do but I'll have to see it first" John spoke up.

"We'll take you there tomorrow" Gabriel's voice was cold again.

"Ok" John said, "how about Mary, are you gonna come and check out 'The Bunker' too?"

"Sure why not."


	25. Chapter 25

**I'm Broken:**

Bobby has to baby sit:

"No one's been there in years. I don't know what to do about all those cars, the keys are left in a little glass box on the desk, I mean no one was using them. I'll run a background check on the license plates and then take them into the garage get some work done on them but - theres not much I can do really. If no one's reported them stolen or anything can either sell 'em or keep 'em" John explained.

"Yeah but do you really think keeping them is a good idea?" Mary questioned. They'd been sitting down stairs on the couch for almost an hour now, discussing it.

"If there not stolen, it can't do no harm as long as they can be fixed, I don't see no issues with it but I might have to get Bobby to take a look and if they work maybe selling them"

"Well, get Bobby to have a look at them and then think of what to do see if he can get a price on how much they're worth" Mary suggested.

"Yeah, well - we should get to bed talk this over in the morning. I got a lock for it. Since after running the post code it showed no one owns it - the boys seem to like it so. Theres no reason to say no to them. It belongs to no one - it looks safe-ish and you've seen how Dean is with Cas, if he even falls over Dean has him take a time out for 5 minutes, the place seems safe you can lock it from the inside so no one can get in while you're in. The glass is smash proof, we tested it bullet proof and everything, theres also alarms and traps the boys will be more than safe it's also got a clock the boys can tell the basic time. It's close so if needs be we can go and get them - that place is so cool, I'm considering moving there."

Mary throw him a glare,

"You know I wouldn't. If the boys want it as a base I say let them. I remember having more risking bases than 'The Bunker' when I was there age, in all honesty they properly have the safest base going" John mentioned. "Gabriel's a little protective with Sam too, you saw him when Sam was ill - he was caring him like a Sam was his kid. Wouldn't let him play until he could keep food down nothing but toast to see if he was keeping things down only water, it was - a nightmare. Maybe getting them phones is a good idea?"

"Yeah. Maybe you're right. Do you notice anything odd with Gabriel lately?" Mary asked, she noticed how distant he'd been.

"He seems a lot more - ambitious"

"That's not ambition, that's not caring at all - I think his depressed"

"He hasn't said anything, a kid wouldn't lie about that thing, kids don't know how to lie"

"How long did he lie to us about what his dad was doing? How long did we buy it? Gabriel is a better liar than any of us but i'm still not sure. He seems to have no emotions in his words and his face has lost all expression. I'm worried about him - again. Cas too I mean, their older brother Micheal, his a mean piece of work. His not hitting them but he does seem, I don't know bossy but more bossy than should be allowed. I don't know, those poor kids. I wish there was something we could do" Mary sighed as she made her way to the bed room, her husband by her side.

...

"We're just going to see my mother for a while. She's not well and I don't want the boys to see her in a state like that, we'll be back at 7. Uh, Cas needs to take his med's after lunch and dinner. If Sam and Gabriel start fighting leave them, getting involved only makes it worse so let them work it out. If Castiel does have a panic attack, Dean and Gabriel know what to do so let them deal with it. Don't let them go in the garage, they'll just mess everything up for you so, try to keep them inside. I did pack a few toys but if they don't want to play with them just put the t.v on. Everyone loves tom and jerry so just put that on if you can find it." Mary sighed.

"Alright, well. I'll see you at 7" Bobby's gruff voice replied as he took the bag from Mary.

"Call if you need anything. Bye boys"

"Bye, mum."

"Bye Mary" Came the voices of the four boys as they all hugged her at once. John next.

"Bye, kids. Behave!"

"These kids can't be at home with their parents?" Bobby quested, obviously referring to Castiel and Gabriel.

"No, unfortunately, both parents are dead and their brother is - well. He works and the other kids are uncapable of caring for them" John said quietly.

"Oh, well. I'm sure it can't be that hard. Tell you mum I give her my best wishes, have a safe trip. See you later."

'Cant be that hard?' Bobby had never looked after Gabriel, Dean, Sam and Castiel all at once. Sam and Gabriel arguing. Castiel's attacks, and he thinks it won't be hard... He has another thing coming to him. "Everyone inside."

"See you at 7" Mary waved goodbye and got back in the car with her husband and they drove away.

"So, kids. What do you want to watch?" Bobby asked, guiding the boys in to his living room/study and turning on his television. "I see, tom and Jerry's on. How 'bout that?"

"Yeah" Castiel screamed jumping up and down.  
"Ok, calm down. Sit down. Dean - Dean. Sit down. Gabriel please don't shout in my ear like that" Bobby said putting his head in his hands.

"Dean, sit" Castiel pouted and glanced at the empty seat next to him. Dean rolled his eyes and sat next to Cas, his arms around the boy, holding him close just so he knew he wasn't alone.

"What did you boys want for lunch?" Bobby asked.

"Pop corn" Gabriel called out.

"Pop corn? Not for Lunch. After dinner"

"I want a sandwich" Sam said, "I want a chocolate sandwich."

"Ok, Sandwich's it is" Bobby walked over to the kitchen. Why did he agree to this? He didn't know a thing about looking after kids. Especially not kids that had been through things that Gabriel and Castiel had been through.

The next thing he knew Sam was crying.

"What's the matter with you?" Bobby asked putting down his butter knife.

"Gabriel stole my toy"

"Gabriel give it back!"

"But Sam-"

"Give it back!"

"But he-"

"No. Give it back!"

Gabriel dropped the toy dragon onto Sam lap and turned away.

"Stop crying. You got it back" Bobby let out a sigh and wondered back over to the counter in the kitchen where he was making sandwich.

Dean was watching Castiel, laugh at the program they were watching. It was fascinating to him how Castiel could have gone through so much but still find beauty and fairness in the world. How can a boy still smile knowing that his dad died hating him? How can he laugh knowing almost everyone he knew blamed him for the death of his mother? But he did have a beautiful smile and a laugh that made Dean feel like he could fly. When Castiel was holding Dean in his arms, Dean swore he would be able to move mountains for him. What Dean felt for Cas, it was more than love but he couldn't describe it, there were no words. Seeing Castiel's smile always made Dean happy, seeing Castiel cry made Dean sad and seeing Castiel hurt made Dean angry beyond belief. Castiel did things to Dean neither of them could explain but it comforted him to know that he could never be with another. Castiel was the only one for Dean and he was lucky to have found the love of his life so soon. Him and Castiel would be together forever there was no doubt about it.

Gabriel was just sitting there. He didn't even know if he was paying attention to the television or not. He'd been unsure on a lot of things lately. He didn't know why he did some of the things he'd done. He often sat there, people would ask him how he felt and he'd reply fine but the truth is, he didn't know. Gabriel didn't know how he felt anymore. As if he was dead inside. He didn't know if he was happy, sad, good or bad. He didn't feel anything anymore. If you pricked him with a pin he'd cry out in pain but if you insult him he wouldn't feel angry or sad, he'd just shrug it of and walk away. He was cold inside and out. He was attacked from his soul, if he still had one. Maybe, after everything he'd been through Gabriel had lost contact with his soul and it had gone on holiday, away from all the pain it had been caused. Gabriel hoped it would come back one day but until that day, if it ever came, there was nothing he could do. Nothing he wanted to do. Live, die, sit, stand. Sleep, stay awake. It didn't bother him anymore. He was just, numb inside. As if there really was nothing there to feel.

Bobby held a sandwich in front of him,

"if you're not hungry leave it. Don't force it down you but you should eat it really. You are skinny for a kid, you know. Need more meat on you're bones"

Gabriel took the plate and began to eat, he acted as if he hadn't even heard Bobby speak. He had he just - he just didn't care. At all. Not even a little bit.

"Thank you" Castiel smiled taking the plate from Bobby's hands and stuffing the sandwich in his mouth.

"You had breakfast today?" Dean asked as he watched Castiel devourer the bread in front of him.

"Yes"

"Promise?"

"Yes" Castiel moaned putting the empty plate on the table and leaning his head on Dean's shoulder.

"Ok, if you say so"

"You think I'm lying?"

"No. I know you're not. I just - I'm not sure you're telling the truth" Dean looked into Castiel's big, round blue eyes and felt he was going to melt. Castiel was beautiful and there was no denying it.

...

"Get off me" Gabriel shouted pushing Sam off the couch.

"I just wanted you to pass me my toys over there" Sam said teary eyes.

"Gabriel, there was no need to push him off like that" Bobby got down and helped Sam get back up, "give him his toys!"

"Why can't he get them himself?"

"Gabriel, it would be a nice thing to do, if you just handed the toys to him."

"No" Gabriel kept protesting until,

"Gabriel, please give Sam back his toys" Castiel looked sorrowful and it broke Gabriel's black, cold heart. He threw the toys towards Sam and crossed his arms. He'd been defeated by his younger brother, how shameful?

...

"How were they?" Mary asked, when the time came to pick the boys up from Bobby's.

"Well, Castiel was like an angel. Very well behaved. Dean too. His fine. My main complaint is Gabriel. He, seemed to pick on Sam a lot and he seems a little"

"Cold hearted?" John questioned, "yeah we've been meaning to talk to him about that but we're still trying to figure out how to say it. After everything they went through I'm not really surprised that he went a little bit - you know. Thank you for having them. It really mean's a lot."

"No problem but ask me to do it again and I'll have to charge ya" Bobby joked waving goodbye to everyone as they all got in the car and drove away.

Castiel asleep, his head on Dean's shoulder, snoring lightly. Dean's cheek resting on the top of his head, snoring also. Sam also asleep, the back of his head leaning on the seat behind him, since he didn't have a shoulder to lean on. Gabriel, however was awake.

"So, Gabriel" Mary began, "Me and John have been meaning to talk to you about something"...


	26. Chapter 26

**I'm Broken:**

(Hey, guys. I just wanted to inform you about my new story, it's also a supernatural fanfic and it is based in the supernatural world. It includes, Sabriel, Destiel and some other cute yet not cannon pairings and drama. As well as blood, and death. So, if you like drama and supernatural then, please check out my other fic. It's called Fallen Family and be sure to review it because I love reviews. So, review every chapter and do it several times, seriously, you're reviews always make me smile and sometimes even give me new idea's so, thank you.)

Camping in the back yard:

"I don't know what's wrong with me" Gabriel pouted, as he flopped on the couch. "I just - I feel empty even when I eat."

"Do the emptiness, hurt?" Mary asked,

"Yes. I does" Gabriel sighed, "I don't even know how I feel anymore and the worst part is, not knowing how feel, doesn't bother me at all."

Mary and John exchanged looks,

"When you're dad, was alive and he was being mean to you. Did he do anything other than hit you?" John asked, taking Mary's hand. Mary looked like she was about to cry.

Gabriel hesitated for a while, then he said. "Yes."

"What did he do, Gabriel?"

"I'll go check on the others" Mary got up and walked into the Kitchen and stood by the back door, watching Dean, Sam and Castiel run around happily.

...

It took a while but Gabriel finally walked out of the living room and was about to step outside when he stopped and faced Mary,

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you" finally there was some emotion being shown again. He was crying, before Mary could even begin to understand what he said he threw his arms around. "Thank you for being a mother to me when I needed one. Cas too."

"It's ok. Go out and play" Mary smiled weakly at the boy and watched him walk away. At the sight of his older brother crying Castiel ran at Gabriel and held him as tight as he could manage. Gabriel flexed his arms around Castiel and hugged him back. Then Dean hugged them and then Sam, after a few seconds of debating it, joined in on the group hug.

"What did he say?" Mary said quietly as she turned to her husband.

"His dad was sexually abusing him and Castiel, that's what made him kill his dad. He'd just had enough of going to bed in pain and watching Castiel go through that - he just couldn't do it anymore" John replied with a hurt tone.

"At least they're safe now" Mary sighed falling into her lovers arms. "I think we should let them camp in the back yard tonight."

"Sure. I'll set it all up after dinner."

...

Castiel lent against the tree and caught his breath, Dean crouched down next to him.

"You alright?" he asked brushing Castiel's head out of his eyes.

"Fine" Castiel breathed, "go, I'll be playing soon. I'm just - ran out of breath."

"Ok" Dean smiled kissing Castiel's forehead he ran back over to Sam and Gabriel. Castiel just sat there for awhile, watching him. How did he get a life so perfect? He had a loving boyfriend, a brilliant best friend and an amazing older brother. Gabriel was his hero, even if he did lose his mind, nothing could turn Gabriel into a villan. Gabriel always said he couldn't be a hero because his life could never get so perfect but, can you name a hero was ever happy? Dean was caring and loving, always looking after him always at his side helping do the right thing, Gabriel was there to always make sure Castiel did what was best for him and Sam was there to be sure that everyone had someone to talk to and Castiel couldn't be anymore thankful. There was Mary who had always helped them, he knew that she called social services and he knew she had the best intentions. Mary was like a mother to him Gabriel and since Dean and Castiel were together, I guess Mary was in a way his mum. There was John, he was like a father to them, more of a father then there father or Micheal could ever be and Castiel and Gabriel couldn't thank him enough for protecting them and helping them when they needed it. All the rides home, all the food, all the night's they had over, everything. The owed a lot to Mary and John and they could never thank them enough for everything they'd done. Castiel ran back towards to his friend, brother and boyfriend. They were currently playing a game called stuck in the mud. Someone it the person who sticks everyone and if you get stuck and no one un-sticks you, you 'die' and you have stick the person who sticks everyone else. Right now Dean was the sticker and Gabriel needed to be unstuck but Sam was running away from Dean and couldn't un-stick Gabriel.

...

"Guys, we were going to let you sleep in the tent tonight" Mary cleared her throat over dinner. All the boys exchanged excited looks across the table. Camping? Yay. Gabriel and Castiel had never been camping before, and sure camping in the back yard is nothing like real camping but it's still pretty exciting for them. After they finished eating, John put the tent up. All the boys would have to sleep in one room but they were camping, they didn't need the big tent only the little one because they were only going back yard camping.

...

They all lay in the tent that night, no one was saying anything. Dean was holding Castiel close, just so neither boy felt alone. Castiel was cold and was using Dean's body heat to keep him warm. Sam was just enjoying the silence and Gabriel was thinking.

"Thank you" Gabriel said at last.

"For what?" Dean asked him, surprised.

"Everything. For being a great friend to me an even better boyfriend to Castiel. For always being there. You too Sam."

"No problem" Sam smiled. "I still hate you"  
"I hate you too"

"Admit it, you love each other!" Dean ordered.

"Wha - No" Sam protested.

"Uh" Dean doubted it but he was sure that Sam and Gabriel will be friends some day. Hey, maybe even a little more.


	27. Chapter 27

**I'm Broken:**

(I know it's been awhile since I updated. I'm sorry about that, but my boyfriend has been in town and I haven't seen him for awhile so, hopefully you can forgive me)

Snow day:

The last day of school was canceled due to the snow and no one could be happier. Castiel woke up and started screaming,

"IT'S SNOWING. GABRIEL IT'S BEEN SNOWING!"

Gabriel had taken Castiel on the long, cold walk to Dean's house because the roads had been shut off. Mary had lit the fire and everyone sat around it for a while getting warm.

"Mum, can we make snow angels?" Sam begged.

"Sammy, it's too cold" John protested.

"But - it might not snow for a long time - and - and, I really like snow angels"  
"Okay, but it the snow gets heavier you promise me you'll come back in?"

"I promise" Sam nodded pulling on his coat, hat and gloves. Gabriel and Castiel looked at each other.

"What's a snow angel?" Gabriel hesitated to ask.

"I'll show you" Dean promised helping Castiel with his scarf. "Come on."

"I don't understand" Castiel was so confused, "why would I lay down in the snow? It's cold."

"Look, I'll show you" Dean layed down and began to make a snow angel after a while he got up and showed Castiel what it look like. "You're already an angel but I thought you might want to make one too." Castiel smile was so warm Dean almost thought it would melt the snow, it took Castiel a while but he eventually started making a snow angel. When they were finished they were shivering.

"Come on boys, time to come in!" Mary shouted out the back door.

"I'm cold" Castiel stuttered.

"You can sit by the fire with me, that'll warm you up" Dean suggested, his arms around the younger boy. They sat by the fire in each others arms, warming up as fast as they could.

"What is this" Castiel asked, pointing to the misotoe above his head.

"It's a misotoe" Dean told him, kissing the small boys lips. "When you stand under it someone has to kiss you."

"But, I'm sitting" Castiel said.

"It still counts."

"Oh."

"You guys can decorate the ginger bread house if you want, I'm about to make some cookies" Mary suggested.

"Yay" Gabriel shouted.

For the next few minutes, all you could hear was:

"NO THE GUMDROPS GO ON THE ROOF"

"NO THE CANDY CANES GO AROUND THE OUTSIDE"

"STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO"

"Why is everyone shouting?"

"Guys, stop shouting! Cas doesn't like it"

"SAMS NOT LISTENING TO ME!"

"Everyone just stop!"

"I DON'T WANT TO PUT MY CANDYCANE AROUND THE OUTSIDE. I WANT IT ON THE ROOF"

"GUMDROPS GO ON THE ROOF"

"Oh for god sakes, I should have just done it myself."

"Gabriel, you and Dean go to high school next year, grow up and let Sam put the candy cane where ever he wants to put the candy cane. And stop shouting, Castiel doesn't like it" Mary ordered.

"Sorry" Gabriel apolaigzed.

"Don't say sorry to me"

"Sorry Sam" Gabriel spat out bitterly.

They watched a few Christmas films but most of the time Castiel was just staring out the window, watching the snow fall from the sky so beautifully.

"What's the matter?" Dean asked, noticing Castiel had stopped paying attention ages ago.

"Nothing" Castiel lied. He had been thinking of his father. If his dad could see him now what would he think? He'd call Castiel weak, suffering with panic attacks, having to get Mary, John, Dean or even Gabriel sometimes even Sam to look after him because he was too weak to look after himself. If his dad was here, Castiel would still be in pain. He'd be blamed for the schools closing, he'd be blamed for the cold winter air, the frost bite, the frozen window pains. Everything. Everything would turn out to be his fault in one way or another. His dad would try to punish him but Gabriel would end up getting hit because he'd try to stand up for Castiel and then they'd both end up getting hit and locked in their room and then they'd have to sneak out through the window and then they'd get beaten even more when they got back.

"No, what's the matter?"

"I was just thinking about my dad" Castiel admitted, "and how weak he must think I am."

"He can't hurt you anymore, you're safe with me and you're not weak" Dean reassured him, speezing the boy a little tighter.

"I know. Dean, can you do me a favor?"

"Anything, for you Cas. You know that"  
"Never forget me. Even when you're in high school"

"Never. I promise, can you promise never to forget me?"

"I couldn't. Even if I tried" Castiel smiled snuggling into Dean a little more until finally he feel asleep.

"Why don't you take him up to bed?" Mary suggested, "it'll be quieter up there. Come on" she helped Dean get Cas into Dean's bottom bunk.

"Sleep well Cas, I love you" Dean whispered planting a kiss on the sleeping angels cheek.

"Come on, let him rest" Mary took Dean's hand and led him down stairs to watch the end of the Christmas film. That night, Dean crept into the bottom bunk near Castiel. Castiel was cold and his face was screwed up, Dean thought he was having a nightmare and gave Cas a hug just so he knew that he was safe and nothing could ever happen to him.

"You're safe with me my angel. I love you" Dean whispered closing his eyes and falling asleep beside his one and only true love.


	28. Chapter 28

**I'm Broken:**

Some years later:

Many years past and not much had changed. Castiel and Dean were still together and they were now in high school. (Dean - 16 and Castiel - 15) Sam and Gabriel still hated each other and even though they could never admit it to anyone, they did care about each other. On this paticaular day, Dean and Castiel were talking about finally taking their relationship to the next level but Castiel still hadn't told Dean about all the sexual abuse he suffered when he was younger and he knew that when Dean found out he wasn't a virgin, he'd be mad. Even more mad than he would be when he found out that Castiel had hidden it all this time and Castiel so afraid to tell him.

"Dean can I tell you something?" Castiel asked sitting up on Dean's bed.

"Sure" Dean said looking into Castiel's eyes.

"You remember me telling you about my father and everything he did to me and Gabriel right?"

"Of corse"

"Well, I never told you everything"

"What?"

"My dad also, sexually abused us. That's what drove Gabriel to kill him"

The look that crossed Deans face made Castiel flinch and hide his face. Dean's face wasn't angry or sad, it was like a mix of the two and Castiel didn't like it at all. Dean just took Castiel back into his arms and said,

"I can't believe you didn't tell me sooner, but thank you for letting me now"

"I'm sorry"

"It's alright. You're still up for tonight though?"

"Yeah, of corse."

...

"I can't believe Micheal agreed to this" John crossed his arms, in disbelieve. Dean was 16 and Castiel was 15, there was no way Micheal was going to agree but apparently he had.

"It was a long shot but it worked, I'm going to stay at Castiel's tonight. I'll be back sometime tomorrow."

"Ok, sweetie. Tell Cas I said hi and try not to wreck the car" Mary waved at Dean as he shut the car boot.  
"The car will be fine Mum. Bye guys" Dean smiled as he drove away. He can't believe they bought it. Sam had his orders, if the phone rang answer it, it could be Micheal wanting to talk to Cas.

...

"Be careful" Gabriel ordered Castiel,

"What are you talking about?" Castiel blushed,

"You know what I mean" Gabriel shouted, automatically lowering his voice. "I'll answer the phone incase Mary or John call. What did you tell Micheal?"

"I was going to Dean's" Castiel said quietly.

"Ok. He'll be here soon so be safe, have fun" Gabriel handed Castiel his packed bag, "call me if you need anything!"

*Beep, beep*

"His here" Castiel hid his face,

"Come on" Gabriel pulled him out the door and opened the front door to find Dean was only just getting out of the car.

"Bye, guys" Castiel was excited but scared at the same time, him and Dean were staying out for a night. They'd been on dates before but they'd always gone home after and this time - they were staying out. Dean had prepared the bunker and everything. A picnic under the stars. Skinny dipping in the lake and then back to the room for some... 'Sleep' as they said their careers.

"Hey Cas" Dean smirked taking the bag from him and kissing him. He threw the bag in the trunk and closed it. "Ready?"

"Ready" Castiel was clearly nervous but Dean was too but he'd planed everything so carefully that nothing could go wrong.

"Bye Cas" Gabriel waved goodbye and closed the door.

"Nervous?" Dean asked planting another kiss on Castiel's lips.

"No" Castiel lied shaking his head. Dean knew he was lying but deiced to just get on with the night.

...

Dean refused to let Castiel help set the picnic up. Castiel had to stand there and watch as Dean layed down the blanket and the put the food down.

"Ok, you can sit on the blanket now" Dean's face went red.

"It's sweet that you did all this for me Dean" Castiel spread himself out on the blanket, Dean taking a seat next to him and reaching for the pie.

"Well, you are my boyfriend right?" Dean asked taking a piece of pie on his fork.

"Right" Castiel grinned putting his mouth around the treat that Dean was offering him. Dean just stared, Castiel didn't take his eyes of Dean the entire time and Dean just wanted to rip his clothes off, but not yet. They had to finish eating and then there was skinny dipping in the lake. They let their food go down while they watched the stars for a while.

"They're beautiful aren't they?" Castiel asked, feeling Dean's chest rise and fall as he breathed, listening to his heart beat.

"Not at beautiful as you" Dean huffed, looking down at the boy he was holding so close.

"Well, I'm not better looking than you are" Castiel meet Dean's gaze and Dean met his lips.

"Think your ready for a dip in the lake now?"

"Oh, yeah" Castiel pulled Dean up and they stripped before Dean picked Castiel up and threw him in the lake and jumped in after him, taking the boy in his arms again.

"I love you" Dean brushed the hair from Castiel's eyes.

"I love you more"

"I love you most"

"That's impossabile!"

"Should we test it?" Dean questioned, his eyes moving from Castiel's lips to eyes and back again, several times. Castiel kissed him,

"Not here" he whispered, his Dean's ear.

"Here's just as good as anywhere else" Dean breaths kissing Castiel's neck.

"Some one might see" Castiel notified him, pushing Dean away and crawling out of the water.

Dean followed with a mischievous smile on his lips. He pulled his clothes on, his eyes fixed on Castiel as he did so and he drove as fast as the speed limit would allow him. They could never get to the bunker fast enough. Finally they got in and Dean had only just closed the door when Castiel jumped him. Pushing his back into the door and kissing him passionately and roughly at the same time. Dean was loving it. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriends waist, like he always did only with more lust this time. Dean pushed Castiel on the bed.

"Dean - Mmn" Castiel moaned, taking the boys jacket off.

"Ngh"

"Ahh"

"Mmn - nn - Dean"

"Unf"

Suddenly Castiel felt something, sure he wanted this but he was nervous and he couldn't help it.

"Dean..." he breathed, "I can't... Breath."

Dean pulled away, he looked into Castiel's eyes at first he was worried then, he relaxed.

"Liar" he whispered, lifting his shirt off over his head. He stroked Castiel's cheek, Castiel was looking at Deans abbs. "What's wrong?"

"I... Just"

"Just?" Deans eyes were moving from Castiel's lips to Castiel's eyes and back again.

"Just... Uh" Castiel was afraid to say it, he didn't want to upset Dean by saying it.

"Nervous?"

"Yeah" Castiel blushed, he was embarrassed now to.

"Me to" Dean confessed, "I promise, you can stop me at anytime. If I'm doing something you're unhappy with, tell me and I'll stop. I promise. Ok?"

Castiel relaxed a little, he did want to do this and he didn't want to make Dean feel like he didn't nor did he want Dean to hold back, he wanted Dean to show him all the love he could and not have to be worried about being rejected.

"It's ok. I don't want you to hold back" Castiel shyed away, he felt like he'd just ruined everything. "I'm sorry, I've ruined everything."  
"No, you haven't" Dean said softly. "It's ok. Come on, you know I love you. If you'll give me all your love, I promise, I'll give you all of mine."

"I promise" Castiel sighed.

"Ok, then" Dean smiled putting his lips over Castiel's again. This night was a night to remember. Dean knew about Castiel's past sexual experience's with his dad and Dean said that he didn't want to force Castiel into anything. Whatever Castiel wanted - or didn't want it was Dean's job to to do it - or not do it. It didn''t take long for Castiel's shirt to come off. Sure, his chest wasn't as muscler as Deans was but it was perfect for him. There was no part of Castiel that Dean could ever find off-putting. Dean had seen Castiel's bad points as he had stuck with him through that, his naked cannot be worse than that. Dean started fiddling with Castiel's belt. He wasn't going to undo it, not yet. But, and he knew it was mean, but teasing Castiel was a huge turn on for the both of them.

Dean had done resech on this stuff. Since Castiel had already had 'sex' in one form or another, he didn't need to be prepared. Dean did. Dean had never have had a sexual encounter at all. Castiel knew what he had to do an he was more than willing to do it because it would stop Dean, hurting so much when they got down to it. Finally, all the clothing was gone and it was just them. Dean, layed down and allowed Castiel to do what he knew had to be done. If Dean needed Castiel to stop so he could catch his breath, then all Dean had to do was say so. Then, with that out of the way they could really get into it. Not think about anything but their love for each other and that, is what they did.

...

"Cas..." Dean collapsed on top of him and held him tight.

"W-what is it?"

"I love you"

"I love you more."

"I love you most."

"Thats impossible."

"We love each other the same, how about that?" Dean asked, wiping the sweat off of Castiel's forehead.

"Deal" Castiel smiled, planting a sloppy kiss on Dean's lips before finally closing his eyes to sleep.

"Sleep well my angel" Dean whispered kissing the top of Cas's head.

"You too my knight in shining amour" Castiel replied, nuzzling his head under Dean's chin.


End file.
